A Positive Psychology for Enlightened Living

Sunshine Massad

Sunny is vividly remembered as the twinkie called Sunshine who collected all the red roses from the Roll’s bonnet after drive-by, or the one who danced on stage, or maybe as the stress counsellor and founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute.

Her book can be bought directly from her website at $15 (softcover): www.untherapy.com/store

Reviews

I’ve read quite a few self-help books over the years. So when I was asked to review UnTherapy by Dr. Sunny Massad, I hesitated before saying yes. I didn’t believe that this little book could offer me anything new. I was wrong. Massad offers her readers a revolutionary perspective. UnTherapy is a profound, yet gentle read.

As the name implies, UnTherapy doesn’t look at our psychology in the traditional way. It is not written for people who need to sit on the therapist’s couch to tell their tales of woe. Instead, it presents several ideas that will inspire the reader to expand their comfort zone, all for a happy cause: their own sense of well being.

Think you’re so broken that you can’t be fixed? Not so, says Massad.

“Psychological culture assumes that painful early life experiences result in irreversible wounds and damaging emotional after effects for the rest of one’s life.”

“(But) suffering does not arise because of problems. It arises because of aversion and resistance to experiences that are deemed to be problems.”

When it comes to early life traumas, Massad knows of what she speaks. When she was just 11 years old, she witnessed her mother, who was later diagnosed with paranoid-schizophrenia and bipolar disease, being taken away in a strait-jacket. Her favorite aunt committed suicide and her grandmother spent much of her life in and out of institutions. Rather than see herself as a victim of her dysfunctional childhood, she viewed it as an opportunity to grow.

“Studies show that people who were deeply hurt as children are capable of tremendous resilience.” says Massad. “It is my contention that if I can transcend the fallout of family dysfunction and personal adversities, then you surely can too.”

All trauma aside, UnTherapy was written for “highly functional adults who want to live richer lives that are more in tune with their highest values.” Or put another way, it’s for ordinary people who want to create extraordinary lives.

Massad describes UnTherapy as a handbook; and it is. Throughout the book she includes simple, yet crafty exercises that are designed to change the way you think about yourself, your judgments and your “issues.” The exercises force us to take responsibility for ourselves, to be our own nurturing parent and best friend.

We are all neurotic in one way or another. It’s just part of the human condition. UnTherapy teaches us to accept our neurosis with compassion, while not letting it rule our lives.

“Enlightened living is not the absence of neurosis but rather the ability to come to peace with your humanness so that your soul can shout “this is who I am!”

I encourage you to treat UnTherapy as a meditation. Make yourself a pot of tea. Curl up in your favorite chair. Read it slowly. There are golden nuggets of wisdom contained within these pages and you don’t want to miss a single one.

Brian Samo Ross, Author of ‘Talking to God Without Calling Long Distance’

The area of ‘Therapy’ is absolutely not my thing but I read quite a bit of this book and I loved it! This is the endorsement I wrote for it: ‘As an antidote to the endless alternative therapy production line, Sunny Massad’s book, Untherapy, is a straightforward, honest, no-nonsense, sans jargon, back-to-basics guide to seeing things as they simply are. Buy it, read it, and laugh at yourself so that you can live a life that is much less stressed and much more joyful.’

Sunny uses many quotes by Osho – choosing the most ‘down-to-earth’ ones – to illustrate her ideas and encourage people in their quest for a life to be lived in joy.

Ma Prema Veena, OSHOinUK.com

As the growth energies of spring begin to stir, many customers will be revising their life plans and setting new goals. Desperate to regain a sense of security in the wake of the economic meltdown, they will be searching for answers, and Sunny Massad offers just that: “My intention in writing this book was never to overwhelm you with more ‘to do’ lists or to shame you for not being where you wish you were. Rather, my intention was to provide you with a reference manual for reversing patterns of self neglect … Whether you are a procrastinator or an overachiever, this book was designed to help you to become more aware of the underlying issues that drive your choices.”

The book doesn’t negate traditional psychotherapy or pharmacological intervention, but it does question the idea that people must struggle toward growth and mental stability. The reader is given permission to experience life as it is without judgment. We are also encouraged to give up the idea that we are victims of our childhoods and may have been damaged in ways that leave us forever less capable than people who were better nurtured and protected in their youth. (“While this can certainly be true in cases of severe psychological trauma, the concept of ‘woundism’ has indoctrinated the greater culture and resulted in a society that is quick to blame. But studies show that people who were deeply hurt as children are capable of tremendous resilience.”)

Massad isn’t selling miracle cures. To the contrary, she explains why those quick-fix, external techniques don’t always help, for example: “Attempts to override fear using positive affirmations can result in internal conflict. Affirming that you are a confident, successful, happy person when you actually feel pessimistic or unhappy, fails to address the underlying issues or fears that created your ‘negative’ emotions in the first place.”

This is a well-written, solid manual for psychological wellness that offers a “next step” many people will find helpful.

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