Humour — 15 March 2017

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them.

If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Paddy and Liam. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files.

When Paddy came into the office, he was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.

“Paddy, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?” asked the doctor with a rather sly grin.

Paddy nodded, and the doctor began to question him.

The first question was: “Paddy, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?”

“I would be half blind of course,” Paddy answered without hesitation.

“And what would happen if I poked out the other eye?”

“I would be completely blind,” said Paddy, well knowing that he had just gotten his freedom.

The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Liam’s files.

When Paddy got back to the waiting room, he whispered in Liam’s ears the questions and their correct answers.

The doctor called in Liam and followed the same procedure as with Paddy: “Liam, the first question is: what would happen if I cut off your ear?”

“I would be blind in one eye,” he said, remembering what he had been told.

This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he simply asked the second question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking.

“Liam, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?”

“I would be completely blind,” he answered with a smile as if he knew he had now passed the test.

Slightly astonished, the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, to which Liam said flatly, “Me hat would fall down over me eyes.”

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