Humour — 15 November 2017

In view of the present arctic temperatures in parts of North America and more cold forecast in the near future, here’s the result of a recent survey. All degrees in Fahrenheit.

60°
Californians put on sweaters (if they own one)

50° Miami residents turn on the heating

40° (you can see your breath)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming

35° Italian cars don’t start

32° (water freezes)

30° You plan your vacation to Australia

25° (Boston water freezes)
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming

20° (New York city water freezes)
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
Miami residents plan vacation further South

15°
French cars don’t start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10°
You need jumper cables to get the car going


American cars don’t start


Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10° (eyes freeze shut when you blink)
German cars don’t start

-15° (you can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo)
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist

-20°
Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don’t start

-25° (too cold to think)
You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30°
You plan a two-week hot bath
Swedish cars don’t start

-40°
Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50°
Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80° (hell freezes over)
Polar bears move South

-90°
Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

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