Archive for Humour

What’s the time?

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers he has an important meeting scheduled.

Overnight stay at the farm

A lawyer and two friends, a rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside.

Sound advice

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

Doctor’s prescription

A little old lady goes to the doctor.

Marylou

Fred was sitting quietly at the breakfast table one morning, reading his paper.

Last will and testament

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.

A push

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The Dead Cow Lecture

First-year students at the Purdue School of Veterinarian Medicine were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow.

A Load of Corn

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn.

“Mayday, Mayday!”

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft.

Chuck, the rooster

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie.

The picture of a rooster

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour.

Old Butch

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.

Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage and started his bus.

One Eye

Rodney was very scared about going to the ophthalmologist.

A Dying Man

The Priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.

Cast the First Stone

In Galilee, Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and he approached them.

Learn from Facebook

I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook...

Creative Translations

Not-so accurate translations ensure belly laughs - provided by Imgur.

Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky

On July 20, 1969, as Commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the Moon.

Assessment at the Mental Institution

A man had been in a mental institution for some years.

What’s With the Ostrich?

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant.

After the Party

On Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route.

Not hanging right

An attorney arrived home late.

Phase one

A man asks his friend for a cigarette.

Do you like my decorations?

An 'unusual' animation cartoon.

Flies

The other day, Charley stopped at a friend's house.

Accountant

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.

The Racehorse

Charlie has a racehorse that has never won a race.

When it Rains…

The pastor's wife was expecting her second baby.

Resourcefulness

Sister Mary Ann worked for a home health agency.

Rainy Affair

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

Hard of Hearing

An elderly gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time.

Frozen Windows

A woman texts her husband on a cold winter's morning:

Engine Trouble

An airliner en-route to Washington DC was having engine trouble.

Kin

A Boston taxi driver backed into a stationary fruit stall.

In the Desert

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia for a holiday and ride into the desert.

Little Sophie

It was the night before Thanksgiving and little Sophie was sleeping in her bedroom.

Nothing to Worry About

An airplane is cruising at 36,000 feet.

Gravestone Humour

Born 1903 - Died 1942: Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

The Special Ring

An elderly white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman at his side.

Buying Train Tickets

Three Japanese engineers and three accountants are travelling by Shinkansen train to a conference in Tokyo.

Dating

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Off the Course

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.

Paying Taxes

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.

The Old Pharmacist

A woman walks into a pharmacy.

Visiting Texas

A blind man decided to visit Texas.

Educating the Young

A crowded airliner is about to take off.