Archive for Humour

Old Chief Forget-Me-Not

Benny the reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere after hours of driving.

I had a terrible day

A cartoon by Liz Climo

A man and a woman

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

The wristwatch

Reuben, in a very bad temper, charged into the jewelry shop.

The Wal-Mart employee

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her son's birthday.

Heart murmur

Eighty-year-old Abhilash was having an annual physical at the local hospital.

Surgeons’ assessments

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who make the best patients to operate on.

Two boys

David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation.

Time to marry again

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again.

Rattlesnake and his friends

A cartoon by Liz Climo

The prophecy

A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die.

Who wants to be a millionaire?

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000.

The royal pain

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in hospital.

Planet talk

A big and a small planet meet in the endless reaches of space.

New admission

After forty years of hard work an old carpenter dies and goes to heaven.

Messages from Wallingford

Wallingford gas station in Seattle, WA, USA, spreads joy among the populace showing witty sayings on their message board. They stick to changing the sign once per week, 4 lines, 17 [...]

Want me to make a snowman?

A cartoon by Liz Climo - dedicated today to our friends in Canada and Scotland.

Words of wisdom

There was a nun whose old body began to surrender to time.

The Lord told me

A homeless man, down on his luck, went into a Catholic church.

A reformed mental patient

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them.

Little Billy

A little three-year old boy is sitting on the toilet.

Problem child

The mother of a problem child visits the psychiatrist.

Message in a bottle

A cartoon by Liz Climo.

Why some athletes can’t get regular jobs

The danger of having just any sports figures as role models...

No luck with the ladies

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.

Twin sisters

Twin sisters just turned one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home.

First one home wins

A cartoon by Liz Climo.

Manic depression

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Laundry detergent

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a large-size box of laundry detergent.

What’s the time?

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers he has an important meeting scheduled.

Overnight stay at the farm

A lawyer and two friends, a rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside.

Sound advice

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

Doctor’s prescription

A little old lady goes to the doctor.

Marylou

Fred was sitting quietly at the breakfast table one morning, reading his paper.

Last will and testament

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.

A push

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The Dead Cow Lecture

First-year students at the Purdue School of Veterinarian Medicine were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow.

A Load of Corn

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn.

“Mayday, Mayday!”

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft.

Chuck, the rooster

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie.

The picture of a rooster

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour.

Old Butch

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.

Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage and started his bus.

One Eye

Rodney was very scared about going to the ophthalmologist.

A Dying Man

The Priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.

Cast the First Stone

In Galilee, Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and he approached them.

Learn from Facebook

I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook...

Creative Translations

Not-so accurate translations ensure belly laughs - provided by Imgur.