Bart and Homer Simpson are Catholic!
In an unprecedented bold move, the Vatican has declared that the cartoon characters Bart and Homer Simpson are Catholic! This was reported in the Vatican newspaper ‘Osservatore Romano’ on October 17th, citing a study by Jesuit Father Francesco Occhetta of a show aired in 2005, entitled ‘The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star’. The study concluded that ‘The Simpsons’ “is among the few TV programs for kids in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes.”
And not only that, Father Occhetta uses several examples to justify the assertion that the pot-bellied beer drinking character is deep down actually a real Catholic. It is pointed out that the Simpson family “recites prayers before meals and, in their own peculiar way, believes in the life thereafter.”
Already in December 2009 the same newspaper reported that the show is “a tender and irreverent, scandalous and ironic, boisterous and profound, philosophical and sometimes even theological, nutty synthesis of pop culture and of the lukewarm and nihilistic American middle class.”
In the wake of the many child abuse cases that have made a huge scratchy dent in the polished façade of the Catholic Church, this might be a desperate Machiavellian counter move. By declaring the Simpsons Catholic, many followers particularly in America who love those characters will feel proud. Whatever shenanigans these characters are up to are now sanctioned! Because they are Catholics! All will be forgiven … just see your local priest for absolution….
Now we all just wait for the blessed day when the Simpsons are made saints too.
In an effort to try and show the world that all Catholic cardinals are not homosexuals, Pope the Polack throws a huge ball at the Vatican. All the priests are given dancing lessons, and many glamorous women are invited to attend.
On the great night, the Vatican chapel, which has been converted for the event, is soon full of dancing couples.
At one point in the evening, Gorgeous Gloria finds herself in the arms of Cardinal Catsass, being swirled around the dance floor. Gorgeous Gloria is dressed in a skintight, off-the-shoulder dress, which highlights her figure perfectly, but many of the cardinals find the dress too revealing.
“Do you know,” says Cardinal Catsass, “that I have always been a great admirer of yours, and I have always wanted to be in the same joke as you?”
“Thank you,” replies Gloria.
“Yes,” says Catsass. “You are also very beautiful!”
“That is very nice of you to say so,” replies Gloria, wondering how she is going to get away from the old idiot.
“But I ought to tell you something,” says Catsass, frowning at her strapless dress, “that I have just one thing against you.”
“I know,” says Gloria. “I can feel it!”
Osho, The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself, Ch 3, Q 4