A poem by Devageet.
I do not know what comes next, what encounters with life will appear.
I do know that each day my meditation rides the wild ocean of mind’s distraction, preparing me for an unknown future.
I have a cancer.
It has stripped away my tomorrows.
My tree of life has been stripped down to essentials.
There is a new purity of intent.
Priorities are put to the test.
Cancer has dissolved procrastination, and
I am left joyous and grateful.
Cancer stole my baggage,
Now, unexpectedly, I fly higher.
Perhaps I am fooling myself.
How can I know?
Simply by reaching deep into my heart.
There I find joy, good humour, gratitude and delight.
Alone in the night; I wake several times nowadays, the cancer reveals itself as an awakener.
My sleep has been deep but now,
Thanks to oncology, I have surged beyond psychology.
What a Laugh!
I do not need to know what comes next.
I do need to simply be present here-now.
Laughter, joy, meditation, love, friendship,
Are with me on this surprising journey.
They are here, now, as I write.
Even this chemotherapy is proving an unexpected friend.
Who could have guessed? Not me.
I remember Osho saying,
Never act out of fear.
Acting out of fear, even if it appears to be right, it is always seen, sooner or later, as wrong.
I search myself for fear.
Is it hiding?
I have not found it yet.
But the search has found another unexpected jewel:
Meditation and awareness can now penetrate even my sleep.
Cancer provided the poke I needed.
I had long regarded myself as chairman of the ‘slow learners’ club.
Slow or not, cancer has shown something has happened, and continues to happen.
Yes, I may be fooling myself.
I am in truth, consciousness and bliss.
Sitting here-now, an ancient meditator, full of cytotoxic drugs, quietly grieving over the loss of his beard,
I find myself smiling, then laughing out loud.
I am dancing inside.
I love the ridiculousness of this paradox that is happening.
Who would have guessed?
But then, didn’t Osho say, Death comes dancing.
This here-now does not feel like death, more like enhanced life.
Whatever comes, whenever, I am ready,
Grateful far beyond these poor words.
Devageet – oshodontics.com
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