How Cold Is Cold?


In view of the present arctic temperatures in parts of North America and more cold forecast in the near future, here’s the result of a recent survey. All degrees in Fahrenheit.

Californians put on sweaters (if they own one)

50° Miami residents turn on the heating

40° (you can see your breath)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming

35° Italian cars don’t start

32° (water freezes)

30° You plan your vacation to Australia

25° (Boston water freezes)
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming

20° (New York city water freezes)
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
Miami residents plan vacation further South

French cars don’t start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

You need jumper cables to get the car going

American cars don’t start

Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10° (eyes freeze shut when you blink)
German cars don’t start

-15° (you can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo)
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist

Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don’t start

-25° (too cold to think)
You need jumper cables to get the driver going

You plan a two-week hot bath
Swedish cars don’t start

Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South

Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80° (hell freezes over)
Polar bears move South

Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

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