Seeing, Watching, Living with the Master and
Being at Home

Book Reviews

A review by Sarita of Ma Yoga Neelam’s memoir

Being at Home by Neelam

Seeing, Watching, Living with the Master and
Being at Home

by Ma Yoga Neelam
Launched: 11 December 2022
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This is a book I hope every Osho Lover will read! And I also hope this book will be made into a film which will offer a really inspiring understanding of Osho, the Man, and the Master.

It is always a revelation to read books by disciples of Osho and to realise just how different each unique perspective is when it comes to being with the Master. Absorbing the grandeur of Osho is like looking through a kaleidoscope. A tremendous variety of colours bursting into view gives us a glimpse of eternity and yet most of us are incapable of absorbing all of these colours. We absorb only a fraction and can only hope to offer a small glimpse of the Master in any way we may choose to try and portray him. However, Neelam has really done an extraordinary job of presenting a vast ocean of revelations, insights and uplifting stories about Osho and his people. The multidimensional ways Osho has worked on his disciples is evident in Neelam’s book.

Osho gave Neelam the title for the book, twenty years before she actually wrote it. Perhaps she postponed writing this book till she had fulfilled more of her soul calling, till she had travelled further along the path of her heroic journey as a devotee.

Finally, in a breathtaking learning curve, when she had been given an ultimatum by her doctor that unless she acted quickly, she would only have ten more days to live, she decided to write the book!

In deep meditation she communed with Osho’s spiritual presence, asking him for two more years in order to write the book. With a lot of hard work and while going through multiple chemo sessions and life-threatening surgery to overcome a very aggressive form of cancer, Neelam finally took on the challenge of putting in print her decades of multidimensional transformation as Osho’s devotee.

Two years later, right after the second edit of her book was complete, Neelam consciously left her body, while peacefully sitting in her daughter Priya’s arms, in glorious Osho Nisarga, the Meditation Center in the Himalayas which she masterminded and co-created. Similar to Socrates describing his process of letting go into death, Neelam offered Priya an intimate glimpse of the dying process. She was acutely aware of each and every nuance of leaving her body, right up till the very end, saying, “This is it! This is the last breath!”

I always remember Osho saying, “Show me how someone is dying, and I will tell you how they lived.”

In Neelam’s book, we travel with her from childhood to her first meeting with Osho in 1969 and her subsequent journey on the path of love and surrender with him. Her quantum leaps in consciousness are spoken about as honest reflections on both her shortcomings and her spiritual insights and attainments.

The way Neelam portrays her first-ever view of Osho is profoundly touching.

Like a soft breeze he slowly glides on the stage… one foot barely touches the ground lest it could do harm, as the other foot rises. I am enchanted by the lightness in the way he walks. His hands are delicately folded in namaste, a white handkerchief held between his slender hands. His tenderness takes my breath away.

Graciously approaching the spacious white podium, with such elegance, such divinity. He seats himself on the mattress on top of the dais, sliding into a cross-legged posture. He smiles with the beauty of a perfect rose flower… and instantaneously, something blossoms within me too.

Osho’s patient and compassionate guidance of Neelam’s path is astonishing. He literally worked on her in much the same way a very patient gardener tills the soil, waters the garden, adds fertiliser, weeds the garden, and then finally enjoys a wonderful harvest.

It is mind-boggling to comprehend the depth and breadth of the path travelled by Neelam under Osho’s guidance. One of the most astonishing aspects of this book is the incredible level of accuracy in terms of timeline, exactly what happened when and where and with whom! She remembers the names of hundreds of people she came in contact with and manages to tell insightful and charming stories about so many friends on the path! It is amazing how many details she recalls of historical events that happened with Osho and his work. Leaving all else aside, as a historical document, this book is a shining light in the world of Osho.

Neelam’s choice of exquisite Osho quotes sprinkled throughout the book keeps offering us a deep dive into his eloquent teachings and sometimes contradictory messages. The rare intimacy between Neelam and Osho is deeply touching. At times he behaves with her like a friend, or like a parental figure, at times like an intimate beloved and at other times like a strict or compassionate Master. She has experienced many Osho’s bundled into one! He functions as a mirror, revealing slowly but surely Neelam’s capacity for spiritual expansion and sheer creative genius.

From being a wealthy pregnant housewife and subsequent new mother to being a devotee and disciple, to being a cleaner in Osho’s community, to being his caretaker, to being his last secretary for India, Neelam has experienced it all with grace, humour, humbleness, honestly and intelligence.

It is incredible to contemplate how Neelam almost single-handedly changed Osho’s public image in India from a negative one to a positive one by inviting renowned musicians to play for Osho sannyasins in Buddha Hall or by going to book fairs and through meeting heads of state. Some years after Osho left his body, Neelam masterminded the fulfilment of one of Osho’s dreams; the creation of a jewel of a meditation centre in the Himalayas.

For anyone who is inspired by the book, don’t hesitate to go and soak up the divine energy in Osho Nisarga, located at the foothills of the Himalayas, beside a beautiful little river, offering Osho’s Meditations and Meditative Therapies, together with many types of personal development Groups and Trainings. The style of architecture and interior decor is just as Osho would have liked, very aesthetic, spacious, and clean.

And as for Neelam, for sure you will feel her in the breeze, in the flowers and the trees of Osho Nisarga. She had asked that her ashes be scattered around the Meditation Hall. If you are silent and alert, you will certainly hear her laughter in the crisp, clear mountain air, lifting your spirit higher and higher to be dissolved in Osho’s eternal presence.

An excerpt from the book

Sarita is a Tantra teacher and writer. She gives workshops and trainings worldwide.

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