Dhyan Aakash tells his story how he came to take sannyas.
I was around 6 or 7 years old when, one day, my father brought home a large pencil sketch of an old man with a hat and beard and hung it up in our corridor. This was the first time ever I had come across Osho, commonly known in Nepal as ‘Rajneesh’, and I had no idea who he might be or what he signified to my father. I saw only a beautiful picture of an old man with a beard and a hat.
In my teenage years, in 2014, I encountered hippies for the first time when I visited the Thamel district of Kathmandu. Their colourful, ragged clothes and relaxed, peaceful vibe triggered something in my soul. This is how I wanted to be! When I returned to my home town, my wardrobe had transformed and so had my taste in music. I looked and sounded like a hippie.
After completing high school in 2016, I went to my brother’s place in Kathmandu to apply for college. I wasn’t really into books, and mistrusted the idea of formal education, but one day, as I was flicking through the books on my brother’s shelf, I felt one particular volume calling out to me: its title was Meditation The Art of Ecstasy.
From the very first page, I was gripped – I felt that each and every line was speaking truth directly to me. Here were answers to questions that had tormented me for years! When I read about Dynamic Meditation there, I felt “Man! This is exactly what we need!” Page by page, the answers unfurled, and my tears rolled down. My whole body was trembling, as if some new kind of energy had taken possession of each and every cell. By the time this feeling had subsided, I was already one quarter way through the book. Then I put it down and bowed to it.
After that day, I started to learn about Osho, to search online and listen to him on YouTube.
In 2016 I enrolled to study Fine Arts at Kathmandu University School of Arts. But what was it that I really needed to learn?
As a teenager, I been reckless and wild – smoking, drinking, and brawling at school. By the end of my first college semester, I was listening to Osho every day and intent on implementing his teaching in my day-to-day life. There was so much about being “conscious”, about meditation. My class mentor too was always telling me: “Sansar, be conscious.” I felt hammered from all sides by this word “conscious” – even while, with my drinking, smoking and isolation, I was lost in inner darkness. I tried to meditate, but couldn’t sit still for more than a minute. I felt overwhelmed – what could this meditation really be?
About eight months into my college career, I woke up one morning feeling wretched and panicky: restless, suffocating, literally like a fish out of water. Meditation, I realised, was precisely the water I needed to immerse myself in.
Straight away, I called my mother and told her that I was quitting college. She thought I was joking at first; then, when she realised I was serious, she was shocked.
She tried to reason with me but I said to her, “Until now, I was asking you before I did anything. I was living according to your decisions, but this time I’m not asking whether or not I ought to drop out of college, I’m giving you my decision.”
Two days later, my father came all the way to Kathmandu and talked with me – like he always did, like a friend. Ever since I was a child, he had never tried to force anything upon me, so he didn’t try to stop me quitting college. We went together to meet the college Departmental Head, Mr Sujan Chitrakar, who told me, “I have been to Vipassana, which is a ten day meditation course. You can go there: I’ll allow you leave of absence for ten days, but don’t leave college. Because it is very hard for a person to rejoin college once they have left.”
I replied, “Sir, I’m very grateful for your generosity but I cannot promise that I will return after my ten days of Vipassana. I’ll only resume college when my irresistible thirst for meditation is fulfilled, and I simply don’t know how long that might take. It could even take years.”
After I dropped out of college, I went to Pokhara a couple of times with my friends, which is where I experienced psychedelics for the first time. Words are futile to describe those experiences but they impacted deeply on my heart and soul.
Just a few days after I returned home, I was scrolling through Facebook and searching for Osho when suddenly an ad appeared about an upcoming three days’ meditation camp, at Biratnagar, only 41km away from our city of Dharan. I was awestruck! How come everything was aligning and helping me towards Osho?
I went to the camp with my cousin without knowing anything about how Osho camps work: I’d never heard of “white robe” or how we say swami and ma to everyone. I was totally new to the world of Osho.
The day camp started, I put myself one hundred percent into every meditation. I exploded in Dynamic! On the last day of the camp, on 22nd July 2017, I took sannyas and received my new name – Swami Dhyan Aakash – and so my real journey began.
I didn’t feel anything special during the three-day camp, but directly afterwards, just as I was leaving through the Ashram gate to return home, I experienced a sudden feeling of weightlessness. I lost all sense of my body, and my mind emptied itself of all thoughts, no matter how hard I tried to think: I tried very hard, but not a single thought was coming.
At that time, I had no idea what was happening. It was only several hours later, taking my first drag on a joint – Boom! – that I came back into my body and thoughts were once again rushing through my mind.
After I took sannyas, I went to every meditation camp that was happening, both near and far, always committing myself to every meditation with total dedication. I started to notice how negatively such things as smoke and drink impacted upon me. I would be flying light and high when meditating but always dropped down so hard when I took a drag of smoke. This constant falling and rising also left me feeling frustrated and guilty, but didn’t stop me practising Osho’s meditations. Now, I’m glad to say, it has been three years since I took a sip of alcohol or smoked.
My life has been totally transformed by Osho. True to say, Osho has given me life. I didn’t feel such aliveness before or even know that I was living. Five years ago, I was in such a mess – and now, everything is so different. I’m so grateful.
I rejoined my college in 2019 and this year completed my undergraduate degree. There are no words to describe what happened after Osho and Aakash met. He says “When a disciple is ready, the master appears.” I agree. He walked a few steps towards me and I grasped hold of his hands.
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