Rashma shares how her sannyas initiation went through a sort of time travel, half a century ago
Before signing his photo, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh – as he was then known – paused with his pen and asked me, “Shall I write your new name? You will have to change your name.”
This was Christmas Day, 25 December 1973, exactly 50 years ago, in Bombay at Woodland apartments on Peddar Road where he was staying at the time. I had just flown in from my home in Nairobi, Kenya, the day before to meet him.
As he waited for an answer, I burst into uncontrollable tears.
“Will your mother-in-law create problems?” he asked. “I do not want to put you in any difficulty.”
While in Nairobi, I was infatuated by Bhagwan, but my mother-in-law, Shakuntala, did not want her only daughter-in-law to become his disciple.
“You are going to meet him, but do not take sannyas,” she said quite pointedly.
“But if he asks me?” I inquired.
Shakuntala was forthright with, “If he asks you and you take sannyas, then do not come back here.”
I remembered this conversation throughout my flight to Bombay, and mentally already drafted a letter to Shakuntala trying to describe Bhagwan in words.
Of course, reality was beyond words. When I met Bhagwan and fell at his feet, crying, Bhagwan asked me, “What were you saying to me during your flight?”
I got up and started touching his head, shoulders, arms and said, “I was writing a letter to my mother-in-law to describe the touch and feel of divinity.”
Bhagwan paused with the pen in his hand and then signed his photo for me with the line, ‘To Rashma, with love and blessings’.
He hadn’t changed my name, since I hadn’t taken the official plunge into sannyas, but that signed photo indicated that he was still with me.
On my return to Nairobi, Shakuntala was happy that I had obeyed her.
Ironically, that led Shakuntala to start practising Dynamic Meditation and to also take sannyas at the Nairobi centre, Anandneed, the first centre which was established by Ma Yog Manju in 1972. In some cosmic way, Shakuntala’s impetus to take sannyas was to ensure that I didn’t become a sannyasin!
She took sannyas in 1974 and received the name Ma Yog Shakuntala, and the same year my husband also took sannyas and was given the name Swami Anand Kul Bhushan. When Kul Bhushan met Bhagwan in Pune, he got his signed sannyas certificate along with that of Shakuntala. In addition, our Nairobi home was named as Premneed Rajneesh Meditation Centre. All three letters were issued on the same date, 10 July 1974.
Shakuntala was happy that I had not taken sannyas because, as said, it was enough to have two sannyasins in a family – she and her son. But deep down, I secretly cried a lot because I felt I was left incomplete.
Cut to April 1975. Shakuntala was away in India, and I suddenly took the courage to take sannyas. One fine morning, I went to the Anandneed Centre and asked Manju to give me the mala. In those days, the centre was authorized to give out a mala and then ask the Pune ashram to send the new sannyas name. I wrote a letter to Bhagwan saying, “The name you wanted to give me on that day (25 December 1973), please give it to me now. The delay is due to my unawareness.” Bhagwan had in the meantime moved to Pune, over a year before I took the courage to dive deep into sannyas.
The response from Pune is where we get into a bit of time travel…
When the letter arrived in Nairobi, with my new name – Ma Prem Rashma – this called for a celebration and all the sannyasins gathered at Premneed for a lot of revelry and laughter. I then noticed that, although the letterhead was that of the Pune ashram, where Bhagwan had moved in March 1974, he had signed and backdated the letter to the 25 December 1973, the day I met him in Bombay when he had asked me if I was ready for a new name.
Of course, Shakuntala was upset and, in retaliation, gave up her mala and sannyas. After some push and pull with me, she came up with a solution. “This mala that you have with wooden beads is not that fashionable. I will take this off you and get you a better mala with golden beads,” she suggested.
At first I was a bit apprehensive but then decided to let her have her way and please her ego. “I am happy you obeyed me,” she said. “I will put this mala back on you and then we will get this changed with the golden beads.” We then went to the jeweller’s and got a new mala which had a mix of golden and black beads.
But there was still something missing…
On my next trip to Pune in July 1975 for Guru Purnima, I had darshan with Bhagwan – Kul Bhushan was also with me. I told Bhagwan that I had this new mala that Shakuntala had gifted me and placed it in his hands. He kept it in his hands for a minute – I assume to “charge” it – and then placed it around my neck.
In a back to the future kind of moment, everything had come full circle! Bhagwan had magically taken away all my apprehensions which I had faced the first time when I met him, and now he had gently pushed me to take a cosmic leap into his sannyas.
Half a century later, those special moments with Bhagwan seem as if they are still happening in the here and now.
P.S. Just to be clear, Shakuntala loved me and all the sannyasins in the family and supported us in our journey after my four children also took sannyas. This is somehow where I could feel Osho’s grace…
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