The let-go meditation, guided by Osho (with audio). “Gather your energies, your total consciousness. And with an intensity, rush towards the center of your being. A deep urgency is needed, as if this is going to be your last moment of life.”
The bamboos are asking for Sardar Gurudayal Singh’s time. Put on the lights!
It is midnight at the Rotting Saints’ Graveyard in Cologne. All is quiet, when suddenly there is a rattling noise under one of the gravestones, marked Hamish Humper. Slowly, the stone begins to lift up, and the earth begins to crumble, and a bony hand reaches out into the air.
Slowly but surely, the skeleton of Hamish Humper creeps out of the ground. Hamish brushes the dust off his bones, and then knocks on the next stone marked Hector Herpes.
“Come on, Hector!” cackles Hamish. “It is time!”
Then, from under the stone marked Hector Herpes comes the sound of bones rattling, and slowly the stone lifts up and out slides the skeleton of Hector. The two skeletons clatter and rattle as they stand up and shake hands.
“We are free!” rasps Hamish. “Let us go!”
The two guys start running and rattling down the streets of Cologne. Suddenly, Hector Herpes stops dead in his tracks. He spins around and starts rattling back towards his grave. When he gets there he picks up the huge gravestone and carries it back to where Hamish is standing.
“What the hell are you bringing that thing for?” screeches Hamish.
“Hey!” replies Hector. “You cannot travel in Germany without papers!”
Young Father Feever finishes his training at the Bleeding Cross Jesuit Monastery, and moves to New York as the priest of the Immaculate Conception and Miraculous Resurrection Church.
Feever soon discovers that one member of the congregation, Lucy Legs, is a prostitute, and decides to try and put her right.
Feever invites Lucy to the back of the church for an informal discussion. But when the young priest arrives, he finds Lucy sitting naked on an old tombstone, with her legs stretched wide apart.
“Ah, My God!” moans Feever, beginning to perspire. “I prayed for you last night…!”
“You idiot! There is no need for that,” snaps Lucy, “I am on the telephone. But don’t worry! You can have me now – just fifty dollars!”
“No! No!” cries Feever, loosening his dog collar. “You misunderstand me. I expected to find you on your knees. In fact, I think we should both start by getting down on our knees right away! Okay?”
“If that is how you want it!” smiles Lucy. “But it is a hundred dollars for doggie-style!”
In an effort to try and show the world that all Catholic cardinals are not homosexuals, Pope the Polack throws a huge ball at the Vatican. All the priests are given dancing lessons, and many glamorous women are invited to attend.
On the great night, the Vatican chapel, which has been converted for the event, is soon full of dancing couples.
At one point in the evening, Gorgeous Gloria finds herself in the arms of Cardinal Catsass, being swirled around the dance floor. Gorgeous Gloria is dressed in a skintight, off-the-shoulder dress, which highlights her figure perfectly, but many of the cardinals find the dress too revealing.
“Do you know,” says Cardinal Catsass, “that I have always been a great admirer of yours, and I have always wanted to be in the same joke as you?”
“Thank you,” replies Gloria.
“Yes,” says Catsass. “You are also very beautiful!”
“That is very nice of you to say so,” replies Gloria, wondering how she is going to get away from the old idiot.
“But I ought to tell you something,” says Catsass, frowning at her strapless dress, “that I have just one thing against you.”
“I know,” says Gloria. “I can feel it!”
Nivedano…
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano…
(Drumbeat)
Be silent…
Close your eyes, and feel your body to be completely frozen. This is the right moment to enter inwards.
Gather your energies, your total consciousness. And with an intensity, rush towards the center of your being. A deep urgency is needed, as if this is going to be your last moment of life.
Deeper and deeper…
As you are coming closer to your center, a great silence descends over you. Your heart opens up just as a lotus opens. Fragrance from the beyond surrounds you.
One step more, and you are at the very center of your being.
This is the point where you are absent and present both: absent, as you have known yourself, and present, as a buddha knows himself.
This is your pure sky, your freedom, your eternity, your ecstasy.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only the witness – a pure witness, just a mirror.
This witnessing is the only revolution that has ever happened to any man, the only revolution that has produced a line of buddhas.
Make it deeper…
Nivedano…
(Drumbeat)
Relax, but remain a witness.…
Gautama the Buddha Auditorium becomes an ocean of consciousness. You have just disappeared into this ocean, without boundaries.
Flowers of silence, flowers of peace, flowers of joy have sprung up all over the place.
At this moment you are the most blessed person on the earth, because everybody is lost somewhere in the marketplace.
You are one of those chosen few who are searching the truth of your being. And it is always found, because it is always there waiting for you. It is your authenticity, it is your existence.
Zen is an existential path.
Experience your buddhahood before Nivedano calls you back.
Collect all these experiences. You have to bring them with yourself, you have to make them part of your daily life.
And remember these three things, these three steps.
First, Gautam Buddha follows you like a shadow.
Second, you become a shadow of Gautam Buddha.
And third, you disappear even as a shadow and become one with Gautam Buddha.
A pure consciousness…
A white cloud floating in the sky of ultimate freedom…
As you come back, persuade the buddha to come along with you.
Nivedano…
(Drumbeat)
Come back… but slowly, peacefully, gracefully, showing your buddha nature.
Sit down for a few moments just to remember where you have been, where you are.
Has there been an experience? Can that experience remain twenty-four hours with you like a shadow?
It is your very nature, hence there is no question. It can become your very breathing, your very heartbeat.
And look… feel the presence of Buddha behind you.
If the first step is taken, the second is not far away, and the third is the easiest.
Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Osho.
Osho, The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself, Ch 3, Q 4
Audio file thanks to Siddho
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