birthday cake

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

Out of order elevator

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together in New York and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper

An atheist on a weekend cruise along the coast of Australia, decides to go for a swim and jumps into the ocean.

The instructor at the antenatal class for couples who’d already had at least one child, encourages them to ask any questions they may have.

Elderly man

The local bar was so sure that its owner was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no-one could beat him.

Man with phone

A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him… everyone else in the room stops to listen.