A totally before-PC joke

(Sources not verified)

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night…

Two marble statues of a man and a woman facing each other have been standing in an old park for centuries.

My wife, where are you?

Jane treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday….

“Looking at my face…”

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.

I have an inferiority complex…

When my teenage son worked part-time in a hardware store…

On a Miami to Chicago flight was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy.

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

Answers given by 2nd-grade school children to the following questions

What’s the least-spoken language in the world?

The eternal question…

A rabbi, a Hindu priest and a politician are old friends.

Talking to God

I remember, when I began my psychiatric practice…

An old one…

Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house…

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas with a great sense of humor… And creative!

A store that sells husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go and choose a husband.

A priest on holiday in Africa suddenly finds himself surrounded by a pack of lions.

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days leave without any notice.

One evening a granddaughter was talking to her grandmother about current events.

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.

A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street…

…on marriage and death

A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant…

A man goes for a walk along the river.

A mechanic is removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley…

A woman working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins…

The following was written, allegedly*, by the late Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fame

Enrich your vocabulary…

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

What is the difference between ‘completed’ and ‘finished’?

A Jewish boy walks up to his father…

A captain notices a light in the distance on a collision course with his sip.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

We asked the Alaska Department of Fish and Game

…..

A Jewish mother gives his son two sweaters for Hanukkah.

One Hanukkah, a young man named Jake was coming to visit his grandmother in her new apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan…

My wife sent me a text that said, “Your great.”

Perfectly politically correct jokes

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can’t look that old? Well…

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

One-liners by the American comedian.

Working people frequently ask us pensioners what we do to make our days interesting.

Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road?

…the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich

A wife comes home late at night…

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS.

A man walked into the produce section of his local Coles supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The two friends met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

Never knew this even after years of using a computer.

A man wanted to get married.

A young Law student, having failed his exams, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.