A man bought a parrot which could already talk.
How do you know when there’s a drummer at the door? The knocking speeds up. How do you know when there’s a singer at the door? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in. How do you know when there’s a bass player at the door? Who cares? More questions: What’s
Are we afraid of being afraid? That’s the question posed by Mr. Ramesh this week. From his store counter, the happy shop keeper displays his wisdom reminding us of the importance of being curious of the unknown. Listen well, and learn to cope with fear! Credit to Peggy
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they call someone at work and ask if they’re married or in a serious relationship.
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
Brother John entered the “Monastery of Silence” and the Abbott said, “Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.” Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, “Brother John,
A young minister is asked by a funeral director to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a new cemetery way out in the country and this man was the first to be laid to rest there. The young minister was not
Mr. and Mrs. Snail are just settling into bed when Mrs. Snail says, “Oh, darling I am getting the worst headache! Would you go into town and get me some aspirin from the shop?” Mr. Snail sighs and says “Oh, all right.” Fifty years later, Mrs. Snail hears the front door open and says, “Darling,
Watch on YouTube Credit to Mary Lee [In case you are wondering what kind of language they are speaking: it is Scottish!]
A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour. Just before she could throw herself off Circular Quay, a handsome young man stopped her. “You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.
These announcements were found in Jewish school newsletters and bulletins. Even a spellchecker wouldn’t have helped.
A selection from entries sent to the BBC
David Moyes is getting increasingly frustrated by his team’s lacklustre performances and the wavering form of his big name players.
A man complains to his neighbour, “Your son has been p****ing in the snow.” “How do you know it was my son that did it?” “He wrote his name.” “So – what’s your problem?” “It’s my daughter’s handwriting!” A swimming pool attendant complains to a man about his son’s behaviour. “Your son’s been peeing
What is brown and sticky? A stick. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What’s red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry. What’s yellow and invisible? No bananas. What’s the fastest thing on earth? Milk. It’s pasteurised before you see it. From a five year
A friend of mine told me before it happened that the cast of 12 Years a Slave were bound to clean at the Oscars. I told him that was a disgusting opinion to have in this day and age. My neighbour knocked on my door at 3am this morning! Thankfully I was still up playing
A German couple walks into a bar and order two Martinis. The barman responds: “Certainly. Dry?” “No, ve vant two!” they reply. An Englishman asks a German: What is between fear and sex? Fünf! Angela Merkel arrives in Greece. Customs Officer (inspecting her passport): “Occupation?” Angela Merkel: “No, just visiting.” Birth announcement
Little Tommy went to school looking all stressed out and upset. In his school bag he brought his cat along. Teacher asks Tommy, “Why have you brought your cat to school?” Tommy looks up with a tear in his eyes and with quivering lips cries, “I’m saving his life! Before I came to school I
Credit for finding the cartoon goes to Nirvana. Cartoon by Swaha – reproduced with permission – swahacartoons.blogspot.com Related articles Dynamic Rap (funny and informal intructions) Osho Dynamic Meditation (the proper instructions) Dynamic Meditation: Mistakes to Avoid Go Completely Mad, Consciously Dynamic Meditation Changes Your Genes Rape, Trauma and Dynamic Meditation Fear of Meditation
Three ascetics sit in a cave meditating. One ascetic opens the eyes and sees a horse gallop by the cave opening. A year later, the ascetic says, “Did you see that grey horse go by?” Another year rolls around, second ascetic says, “That was not a grey horse, it was a white horse.” Another year
One Sunday, standing on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.
A selection from The Guardian comments.
A selection from The Guardian
A court sentences a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Bosnian to 20 years solitary confinement. All three defendants are warned that the doors of their cells won’t be opened for the duration of the sentence so they are to make a list of all the things they’ll need for two decades. The Frenchman asks for