More Jokes from Around the World

Jokes

A selection from The Guardian comments.

 

Finland

An Englishman goes into a bar in Finland to practice his Finnish.

He asks for a beer, talks about the weather, his travels in Finland, etc. The barman just smiles.

The Englishman thinks, “It’s true what they say about Finns: they don’t talk.”

The barman thinks, “I didn’t know the English language was related to the Finnish language, I almost understood what he was saying.”

 

Spain

Two guys talking.

“Does your wife make a lot of noise during sex?”

“Yes, I can hear her all the way from my office.”

 

China

An African student, a European student, an American student and a Chinese student are all in class together.

The teacher asks a question: “What’s your own opinion about food shortages in other countries?”

The African student asks: “What’s food?”

The European student asks: “What’s a shortage?”

The American student asks: “What do you mean by ‘other countries’?”

The Chinese student asks: “What do you mean by ‘your own opinion’?

 

USA (referring to the NSA spying on everyone)

A little boy comes up to President Obama at a function and says, “I think you’re great but my father thinks you’re not a real American as you were not born in the US.”

Obama replies, “Never mind, son. And by the way, he’s not your father”.

 

Turkey

A very holy hoca (imam) and a very reckless bus driver die on the same day.

The bus driver goes to heaven, but the hoca to hell.

The hoca asks Allah why.

Allah replies, “Your preaching made them sleep, but his driving made them pray!”

 

Kazakhstan

Sergei and Ivan are standing at the bar.

Ivan says to Sergei, “Hey, what do you think of Yuri?”

Sergei says, “Follow me.”

They finish their vodka, leave the bar and walk down to the train station. After an hour’s ride, they get off at the most remote station on the line. Sergei leads Ivan off down a country road. Eventually, the road thins out, and they’re in wild country. They leave the path and strike out into the woods for a few hours until they find themselves in a quiet wooded glade, far from civilisation. Sergei tells Ivan to wait, while he doubles back to make sure no one is following them. Then they sit and listen for an hour until they can be confident that no one is listening.

Sergei finally grunts, turns to Ivan, and whispers, “You know, I think Yuri’s alright, actually.”

(see other version in WWII)

 

from The Guardian (comments)

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