She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And was somewhat upset.
“You’re a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!”
And Paddy (for he it was) replied, “Hang on just a minute, luv, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
And Paddy began.
“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!
“So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
“Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
“Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.
“I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste.
“I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”
Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued.
“She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?'”
Thanks to Kaiyum