Perpetual war

Always give the opportunity to the other to be himself – that is what understanding is, that is what love is. Don’t force yourself on others. Your wishes may be good, but the result will be bad. A good wish is not enough in itself; it may turn poisonous. The real point is not your good wish. The real point is to give freedom to the other to be himself or herself.
Allow your wife to be herself; allow your husband to be himself; allow your child to be himself – don’t force.
We are all sea birds, unknown to each other, strangers. Nobody knows who you are. At the most, all we can do is to help you to be whatsoever you are going to be. And the future is unknown; it cannot be forced. And there is no way to know it, no astrology will help, these are all foolish methods. People depend on them because people are stupid. Astrologers continue to exist because we go on wanting to know about the future so that we can plan. Life cannot be planned; it is an unplanned flood – and it is good that it is unplanned. If it is planned then everything will be dead and boring. It is good that nobody is able to predict the future, it is good that the future remains unknown, unpredictable, because there lies the whole freedom. If the future becomes known, then there is no freedom left, then you will move like a predictable mechanism. But that is what we want, or that is what we try to do.
If you are a little understanding, give others around you freedom to be themselves and don’t allow anybody to interfere with your freedom.

When the Shoe Fits,  Ch 6 (excerpt)