Real news headlines gathered from papers across the USA:
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked – Thief Gives Police The Slip
Patient At Death’s Door – Doctors Pull Him Through
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails – Fans Protest
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Crowds Rushing To See Pope Trample 6 To Death
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
Milk Drinkers Are Turning To Powder
Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law
10 Revolting Officers Executed
Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Severed Head Offers Few Answers
Eye drops off shelf
Father Of 9 Fined $100 For Failing To Stop
Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
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