Alastair MacDonald from Scotland went to enrol at an English university.
After his arrival he was accommodated in the hall of residence with all the other students there. A month later, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, haggis, oatmeal and whisky) to see if he was alright.
“And how do you find the English students, Alastair?” she asked.
“Mother,” he replied, “they’re such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won’t stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”
“Oh Alastair, poor bairn of mine! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?”
“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes.”