Jokes — 17 January 2019

After he had given his sermon, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise to the Lord for answered prayers.

A lady stood up and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they tuned in to the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, “Hi, I’m Tom.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

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