Zen sarcasm to live by

Jokes

Vital pieces of wisdom.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

The path is long and tough. Wear good sneakers.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don’t succeed… skydiving is not for you.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

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