An Aha! moment – by Leela.
January 19, 1990. I arrive in the Ashram for Osho’s evening discourse. I am early as usual. I meet Devageet on the path in front of Lao Tzu House where Osho resides. He tells me to go and stand just inside the gate and just be there.
Not understanding why… but I don’t question him as he looks quite distressed. As I stand there, slowly other friends join in till we make two lines on either side of the path leading into Lao Tzu House.
No one seems sure why they are there but I have the feeling that, as Osho has not been well for some time, it’s to do with him leaving his body – but I say nothing.
After some time, Neelam, Osho’s Indian secretary, comes out of the house with tears streaming down her face. She rushes past us to inform his family, who also live in the Ashram.
Osho has left the body.
What follows is somehow a rush as by then many people have already arrived in Buddha Hall and preparations are now being made to take Osho’s body there. I cannot bring myself to enter the hall, but stay outside looking in.
My heart is so heavy and I have these words within me: “A light has gone out in the world.”
After all the celebrations that night and the following days when Osho’s ashes are brought back from the burning ghats, I am preparing to leave for Germany as groups are planned for me there. Ramateertha, the leader of the Cologne Osho UTA Centre, is on his way to Pune and had offered me his room to stay in while he is away.
The night I arrive in Cologne I go straight into Rama’s room and there is a white robe of Osho’s hanging on the wall. I feel overwhelmed by these last days; I need to hear Osho’s voice. So I pull out a cassette from the shelf next to the bed I am lying in – I have no idea what’s on the tape.
The discourse is the story of the day Buddha is dying – I cannot believe it’s the discourse I have randomly chosen – Buddha is dying and Ananda, who has cared for Buddha for so many years, is so unhappy that the man he has served, loved and cared for is leaving.
Ananda pleads with him not to die. He has been so long with Buddha and so many other disciples have become enlightened, but Ananda has not yet attained.
However now Buddha is leaving his body and with great urgency Ananda goes and sits under a tree and says to himself that he won’t leave that place until he becomes enlightened.
He sits under the tree the whole night with such an urgency that by morning, he has attained.
Osho goes on to say, “While I am here, the urgency is mine, and when I am gone, the urgency is yours.”
Featured image: East Javanese relief depicting Buddha conversing with one of his disciples. By Anandajoti Bhikkhu from Sadao, Thailand – Ananda worships Buddha, commons.wikimedia.org
Leela will be facilitating a Mystic Rose group and training in Kerala, India (3-24 February 2024).
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