Turyna’s impressions after a Silent Retreat at Osho Nisarga in the Himalayas. Next retreat: 1-22 February 2027
The sky is heavy this morning here in Lausanne. Pearl-grey clouds hover over the lake. Yet incredible rays of sunlight find their way to my table. In the distance, the still-white peaks of the Alps sparkle. The sky is a perfect reflection of my days spent at the foot of the Himalayas.
Inside me, everything is calm. A quiet joy spreads gently through my cells. Spring is turning up, and it is soft. Doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself… It has been three weeks since the 21-day retreat ended. I am in love with life, in infinite gratitude.
At the end of December, I resigned from my management position in a consulting firm. A colleague asked me whether I was planning to return to India, now that I had spare time. I said firmly, “No, India is finished for me. I will not go back.”
Three weeks later, I am on my computer looking for a flight to Dharamshala. It’s been over 40 years since I took sannyas, and my connection to Osho has dried up over the last two decades. After many sparkling years, my path led me to other inspirations.
In early January, as I am looking for a retreat near my home to start the New Year, a sannyasin friend suggests I do a Vipassana retreat. Hmm. Dynamic and Kundalini Meditations and Osho’s discourses? Not appealing… But then there’s the silence… I’ll go, but I won’t do it all.
I end up doing everything, without a second thought. Like the rays of the sun, Osho’s vibes of love seep into me, seemingly out of nowhere. Touched in the heart. Tears… Where had I been?
The moment I get back home, I book the silent retreat at Osho Nisarga that’s starting two weeks later. Back to India… As soon as I land in Delhi, my soul sings, and I can’t stop giggling.
Osho Nisarga: pure enchantment. Everything I love is there: meditation, mountains, nature, beauty, care for everything and everyone. And all around, a North India that I knew little about: peaceful, green, soft, and luminous.
In my room, I find 21 candles to accompany the 21 evening meditations we do on our own. I put them in the drawer so as not to be daunted by the number. I will take them out one by one.
21 days of silence: the path of no escape. The most radical way to know myself, right here, right now. The radical truth of this moment.
What shows up is all there is! No matter how much I would like this moment to be different, no matter how much I try to control it in order to make it last longer, to make it easier, more entertaining… no matter how many spiritual tricks I try to use to get out of my mind… What is, is. I can only be with it. This is it!
And then doors open. Unexpectedly, the Absolute reveals itself. True being happens. It is as big and as simple as that. And it disappears to show up again, or not, now or later.
After a week of feeling like Alice in Wonderland, filled with a sense of utter freedom, ecstatic body openings, and the wonders of nature walks; after days of zapping through the 101 radio channels of my mind – I dive into a vortex of pain, resentment, anger, self-hatred and unworthiness that slowly turns into an infinite ocean of sadness, sweet and cleansing, opening into waves of love and letting go.
No stone is left unturned… Yes, it sometimes feels like hell, but I feel so held by the structure of the retreat, by the invisible yet dedicated presence of the staff of Nisarga, by the commitment of the other participants, and… by my unshakable love for truth, and by this zest of love, specific to Osho’s field, that pierces my heart.
It is a challenging process: 21 days of silence and seclusion. There is no distraction from this very moment, no way to let it out, no friend’s shoulder to cry on, no journaling to clarify the mind, no hugs, no Netflix, no glass of wine. And there is so much depth and joy. The individual meets the gods; Being happens while facing truth.
This retreat is washing my heart, like the brook running through Nisarga while polishing the Himalayan rocks along the banks. My heart feels like a yellow butterfly in a field of wildflowers. I surrender to love and grace.
Twenty-one days later, at the foot of the Alps, the process goes on. I am facing a new life after resigning from work and separating from the man I have walked beside for the past 14 years. I feel a solid inner ground, a strong yet flexible backbone. I am ready to face the unknown, with infinite curiosity and trust that everything changes constantly.
May the heart guide me!
The next retreat: Turning in – A Silent Retreat, will be held 1-22 February 2027 at Osho Nisarga, Dharamshala, India: oshonisarga.com/silent-retreat
First published in Viha Connection Magazine and in Osho Nisarga’s blog, edited by Osho News
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