What did the elephant say to the naked man? “How the hell do you breathe through that thing?” How do you know an elephant was in the fridge? He left his footprint in the butter. Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkly? Because if it were small, white and round it would
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How the hell do you breathe through that thing?”
How do you know an elephant was in the fridge?
He left his footprint in the butter.
Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkly?
Because if it were small, white and round it would be an aspirin.
What kind of animal has it’s prick on its side?
A police dog.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Damn.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other one, “So are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease then?”
To which the other replies, “No, of course not….. I’m a duck.”
Why do squirrels always swim the backstroke?
To keep their nuts dry!
Two crows sitting on a fence post.
First crow to second crow: “What’s the difference between a crow and a cow?”
Second crow to first crow: “AAAAARRRRR”
Two monkeys in the bath. One monkey says, “Oooo ooo ooo ooo oooo.”
The other monkey replies, “Do you want a bit of cold in?”
Two budgies in a cage.
“Here…. can you smell fish?”
“Yeah, I think it’s the perch.”
Two fish in a tank.
First says to the second: “So, how do you drive this thing?”
Second says to the first: “Wow, a fish that talks!”
What cheese do you use to encourage a bear?
Camembert…
(works better said than written)
How do you titillate an ocelot?
Ossicilate it’s tits a lot.
The dodo died.
Di died.
Dodi died.
Dido must be worried.
A man says to a camel: “Why have you got those strange, ugly humps on your back?”
To which the camel replies: “Which part does look normal?”
(Turkish joke)
from The Guardian comments
featured image by HaakonLie – haakonlie.deviantart.com
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