Laplanders in Winter

+10°C
Residents in their rented apartments in Helsinki turn off the heating system.
Laplanders plant flowers.

+5°C
In case the sun still rises over the horizon, Laplanders enjoy a sunbath.

+2°C
Italian cars no longer start.

0°C
Distilled water freezes.

-1°C
Breath becomes visible, time to plan for a holiday in the Mediterranean.
Laplanders eat ice cream and drink cold beer.

-4°C
The cat wants to join you in bed.

-10°C
Time to plan for a holiday in Africa.
Laplanders go swimming.

-12°C
It’s too cold to snow.

-15°C
American cars no longer start.

-18°C
House owners in Helsinki turn on the heating system.

-20°C
Breath becomes audible.

-22°C
French cars no longer start.

-23°C
Politicians start feeling sorry for homeless people.

-24°C
German cars no longer start.

-26°C
Construction material for igloos can be cut out from breath.

-29°C
The cat wants to sneak inside of your pajamas.

-30°C
Japanese cars no longer start.
The Laplander curses, kicks the tire and starts his Lada.

-31°C
Too cold to kiss, lips freeze up.
Lapland’s football team starts with their spring training.

-35°C
Time to plan for a two-week long hot bath.
Laplanders shovel snow from their roofs.

-39°C
Mercury freezes. Too cold to think.
Laplanders close their collar button.

-40°C
The car wants to get into your bed.
Laplanders pull on a sweater.

-45°C
Laplanders close the toilet window.

-50°C
Sea lions abandon Greenland.
Laplanders exchange gloves with mittens.

-70°C
Ice bears abandon the North Pole.
The University of Rovaniemi is organizing a cross-country skiing event.

-75°C
Father Christmas abandons the polar circle.
Laplanders fold down the earmuffs of their fur caps.

-250°C
Alcohol freezes.
Laplanders are miffed.

-268°C
Helium becomes liquid.

-270°C
Hell freezes over.

-273,15°C
Absolute point zero.
No movement of elementary particles.
Laplanders admit, “Yes, it is a bit nippy, give me another schnapps…”