A man is walking around the streets of New York one day …
Suddenly he spies an old friend of his from college. “Boris!” he yells. “I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?”
“Well,” Boris replies. “I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra.”
“Spectacular!” the man replies.
“It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the Queen of England, she loves the music. She says ‘Fill the instruments with gold!’ and they fill the tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo.
“We play for the French President. He loves the music; he says ‘Fill the instruments with silver!’ and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo.
“Then we play for the President of Zimbabwe. He hates the music; he says, ‘Shove the instruments up their asses!’ and the tuba doesn’t fit and the trombone doesn’t fit. And me with the goddamn piccolo!”