What Staff Descriptions Really Mean

Jokes

Outgoing Personality:  Always going out of the office Great Presentation Skills:  Able to bullshit Good Communication Skills:  Spends lots of time on phone Average Employee:  Not too bright Exceptionally Well Qualified:  Made no major blunders yet Active Socially:  Drinks a lot Family is Active Socially:  Spouse drinks, too Independent Worker:  Nobody knows what he/she does

Outgoing Personality:  Always going out of the office

Great Presentation Skills:  Able to bullshit

Good Communication Skills:  Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee:  Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified:  Made no major blunders yet

Active Socially:  Drinks a lot

Family is Active Socially:  Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker:  Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking:   Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker:  Won’t make a decision

Aggressive:  Obnoxious

Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs:  Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well:  Speaks English

Meticulous Attention to Detail:  A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities:  Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgement:  Lucky

Keen Sense of Humour:  Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded:  Back stabber

Loyal:  Can’t get a job anywhere else

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