Wayne Rooney

Coming under increasing media and fan scrutiny he decides to take a trip down to London to watch Chelsea train to see if he can pick up any tips.

After watching the first hour of training Moyes is not that impressed, so he decides to ask Mourinho how he manages to get his players so sharp.

“That’s easy”, says Jose. “I train their minds as well as their bodies. I do this by asking them a difficult question.”

Moyes wants an example, so Mourinho calls over Frank Lampard.

Mourinho asks Frank: “He’s not your brother, but he’s still your father’s son. Who is he?”

“That’s easy,” says Frank immediately, “it’s me!”

“And that’s how you keep them sharp,” Mourinho tells Moyes.

Suitably impressed, Moyes decides to use this new technique at training the next day. After their initial warm-up, Moyes calls Rooney over.

“Right Wayne, I’ve got a question for you: He’s not your brother, but he’s still your father’s son. Who is he?”

“Aw… ay… Boss, that’s really hard. Can I think about it and tell you the answer tomorrow?” asks Rooney, scratching his head with a fat finger. “Also, why did you ask me that?”

Moyes explains that it’s a continental training method, one that will improve the mental sharpness of the players, and agrees to the one-day postponement of the answer.

That night Rooney is still confused and worried that he’ll look stupid, so he calls Van Persie, figuring his strike partner is a well travelled and educated man.

“Maybe you know the answer to this, Robin: He’s not your brother, but he’s still your father’s son. Who is he?”

“That’s easy. It’s me!” replies Van Persie.

The next day in training, Moyes calls Rooney over. Rooney strides over, head held high and brimming with confidence.

“So Wayne, do you have the answer to the question: He’s not your brother, but he’s still your father’s son. Who is he?”

“Easy Boss”, Rooney confidently replies, “it’s Robin Van Persie.”

“Ya thick bastard. It’s Frank Lampard!” replies Moyes.

from The Guardian comments