Unhappy farmer Ted is leaning on the gate as his neighbour passes by.
“Hey, Ted, what’s wrong?” asks the neighbour.
“Hi Bill,” says Ted, “I think there’s something wrong with my new bull. I put him in the field with the cows and he’s just not interested.”
“Ah,” says Bill, “I’ve seen this before, it’s all the pheromones, Ted. What you need to do is put your finger up one cow’s fanny and spread it on the bull’s nose. The pheromones will do the trick.”
Ted, a little skeptical, decides to give it a try. Within seconds the bull’s eyes open wide, his nostrils flare, he lets out a bellow and runs off to mount the first cow. Within 20 minutes he has serviced the whole herd and has started to go through them again.
Later, after finishing his work for the day, Ted sets off for home in the dark.
He gets in and his wife has left his supper and gone to bed.
Ted eats his supper and thinking about the bull starts to wonder if the same trick would work for him and liven up his struggling marriage.
So, he goes into the bedroom without turning the lights on, gets into bed next to his wife and carefully slips his finger into her fanny without waking her up. Then wipes it all around his nose.
Within seconds he has a raging hard-on like he hasn’t seen in ten years. Amazed, he excitedly wakes his wife saying, “Look, look at this!”
His wife sits up and turns on the bedside lamp, looks at him with bleary eyes and says, “For fuck’s sake, you wake me up at 4am to tell me you have a nose bleed!”
from The Guardian comments