10 New Year’s resolutions


help to mess with people’s minds.

1. Make vanilla pudding, Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
2. Wear a shirt that says, ‘Life’. Hand out lemons on the street corner.
4. Get into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today.”
5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fires with that.
6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell, “It worked!” and run out cheering.
7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.
8. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve turned into a parrot.”
10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting ‘Eye of the Tiger’ for encouragement.

Comments are closed.