Vatican announces new changes to the Lord’s Prayer

Satire / Comedy / Entertainment

The wording of the Catholic ‘Lord’s Prayer’, was officially changed by Pope Francis. Published on the satirical news site, ‘The Waterford Whispers’ on June 11, 2019.

Waterford Whispers News

Known worldwide as ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ and one of the Catholic Church’s best-loved prayers, the Our Father was officially changed last week following a decision by Pope Francis, who insisted that the original prayer did not fit into modern times.

The pope said he thought the English translation of the prayer was not up to politically correct standards, with the new look prayer now covering all aspects of society, law, culture and faith.

The Vatican officially released The Lord’s Prayer version 2.0 earlier this morning. Please find the revised prayer below:

Our Father or mother or non specific gender,
who art in heaven, zion, nirvana, valhalla, moksha,
hallowed be thy username, handle, avatar;
thy kingdom come, or go if you wish – it’s non contractual;
thy will be done, but not binding,
on earth as it is in heaven, zion, nirvana, valhalla, moksha.
Give us this day, our daily gluten free bread/rice cake;
and forgive us our credit rating
as we forgive banking institutions who trespassed against us;
and lead us not into the property market again,
but deliver us from the mainstream media.
Amen.

waterfordwhispersnews.comillustration by Osho News

Note by Osho News: A new more accurate translation of the prayer was endorsed by Pope Francis recently, changing  “and lead us not into temptation” to “do not abandon us to temptation” or “do not let us enter/fall into temptation.”

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