Doctors’ notes

Jokes

These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries at the NHS (National Health Service) Greater Glasgow, Scotland.

Taking down notes

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day, it disappeared.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

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