Atithi

Our beloved Sw Anand Atithi (Ferenc Dongo) died on August 10, 2023.
He was 73 years old.
He died suddenly in his home in Santa Barbara.
A sincere disciple of Osho and a loving friend to all of us in Osho Academy.

Osho Academy, Santa Barbara

A pleasant guest

by Gabriella Sontheim

Ferenc Dongo was born 1950 in Budapest, Hungary. When he was 8 years old, his mother fled to Switzerland, leaving him and his father behind. A traumatic experience for him that would affect his intimate relationships with women throughout his whole life. A few months later, he and his father followed her to Switzerland.

To have been a refugee had a great impact on his sense of himself, as he explained to me only many, many years later. Not feeling welcomed from the very beginning, having to learn a new language and integrate into a new culture shaped his childhood and made everything in life much more difficult for him.

I met Atithi in 1976. I was 18 then and he was my first lover. He was just finishing his studies to become a medical doctor. Two years later he told me that he wanted to travel the world. “There must be something far bigger out there than what we know,” he would say and left.

8 months later I met him as a different person. Dressed in a long orange long robe, with beard and a mala, he told me that he had found what he had been looking for! His initiation name was now Atithi, which means guest, the one who comes and goes. I packed my stuff and together we left for Poona. That was in 1979. I planned to stay 6 weeks. It became one and a half years instead.

Atithi and I have remained connected all these years. Even though our lives developed in different directions, we never lost sight of each other. Atithi has been one of the most supportive people I knew. Always there when needed, always helping, and always being supportive, without asking anything in return or giving moral advice. Just helping!

He was also very funny. We had great laughs together. A special story happened during the time we stayed in Poona 1 together: Bhagwan had asked Atithi to become a samurai, a position with great honor, connected with many advantages in the ashram. After a few days while thinking about it, Atithi decided to decline the offer and continue to stay in the garbage department. He thought that his spiritual growth in that position would be much greater, because it wouldn’t allow him to inflate his ego! That was true, and so typical of him.

After several complicated relationships with women,  he decided, many years ago, to concentrate on meditation. And meditation became his main focus in life. Our friendship in later years moved to a deeper spiritual level, him being one of my spiritual guides. We talked on the phone at least once a week, and sometimes these talks lasted for hours.

Atithi was a great teacher to me, affecting my life deeply. I will miss our exchanges and our laughs together. Atithi was quiet and yet so involved, modest and yet so generous, alone and yet so deeply connected with all of us. But… what a great way to go! Typical Atithi: He died without hassle – he never wanted to be a burden to others.

He was in total balance, even though he had experienced great periods of turmoil in his life. He died like the person he had become.

He was a pleasant guest; you always wanted to have him around. And now he is gone. I miss him deeply with all my heart.

With Love,
Gabriella Sontheim
Ibiza, August 2023

Atithi was born in Hungary and as a small boy he escaped with his father the communist invasion and fled to Switzerland, where his family – as many others – would settle. Despite his humble origins he completed his medical studies and became a doctor.

At the end of 1978 he travelled to Pune to meet Osho and took sannyas from him on 29 January 1979. He was invited to participate in the Oregon commune where he worked with passion as a garbageman.

Friends from Zurich remember his exuberant and outgoing character, when to make quick money to travel and see Osho (and to impress the girls) he worked long hours as an emergency doctor. His red Ferrari, for which he got many speeding tickets, was part of the picture.

After Osho left his body he moved between the US, Switzerland and India. He was an intense, charismatic and an always-on-the-go person.

Sannyas darshan with Osho

Anand means bliss, atithi means a guest. Literally atithi means one who comes without informing, one who comes without announcing the date of his coming. That’s how it used to be in the past – there was no way of informing; the guest would suddenly come. And bliss is a sudden guest. When it comes, how it comes, why it comes – no questions can be answered. It comes, that much is certain.

It always comes, but it cannot be brought. Yes, you can invite it, but you cannot force it to happen. It is not a doing; it is a happening. One can be available to it, receptive to it, vulnerable to it, that’s all that one can do. One can wait, can wait prayerfully, one can be utterly expectant, but that’s all that is humanly possible. We cannot manufacture it; it comes from the beyond, and there is no science to bring it about. Its coming is a mystery, its going too. Just like a breeze it comes, and just like a breeze it is gone; you cannot hold onto it. The moment you start holding it, it is no more there; it has already left you. In fact the moment you become aware that it is, it is already gone. Even that much awareness creates a distance between you and bliss; you become unbridged.

When bliss is there, you are not; there is no distance: you are it. You cannot watch it, you cannot observe it, you cannot analyze it, you cannot understand it. It is simply there in all its grandeur, and you are lost in it.

If one understands the mysterious ways of bliss, things become very easy; one can make oneself more and more available to it, more and more open. That preparation is negative. You just keep your windows and doors open: when the breeze comes it will enter.

If your doors and windows are closed, even if the breeze comes, it will not enter. Keep your eyes open, so when it is light you will see. But if you keep your eyes closed, then even when it is full daylight you will remain in darkness.

Bliss comes via negativa. One has just to remove hindrances, one has just to destroy barriers; it is a negative kind of work. Once all barriers are removed, suddenly it starts showering from everywhere. And even those on whom it showers are made dumb: they cannot say why it is, what it is, how it is.

Osho, Zorba the Buddha, Ch 27 – 29 January 1979

Action!

from Punya’s memoir, On the Edge

One night I came home from work at the advertising agency and popped in for a visit at one of the flats in our Höngg settlement. Old friend Atithi had brought the news that Osho was in Greece and that he was giving discourses. I was excited to finally know his whereabouts and to hear that we could go and see him. Atithi came up with the idea of renting a jet and flying over that very night. He might have actually been able to afford the jet – I think he was already driving his red Ferrari – but he was the only one in the group, apart from me, to jump up and want to take immediate action. Why I did not follow him and book a flight the next day (it didn’t necessarily have to be a jet) is still not clear to me…

More Tributes

Ah, my crazy Hungarian friend.

You were always one of my favorite people in Osho Academy.

Whatever you did, you were total!

You taught me how a disciple becomes a devotee.

Though our ways parted two decades ago, you have always had a sweet place in my heart.

You died so young – only 73! I hope your last days were filled with peace and bliss of a life well spent.

Your life reminds me of a quote from George Bernard Shaw:

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

Live on, Atithi! Jai! Jai!

Abhiyana

 

Beloved Atithi,

It aches that’s so soon you leave us!

I am so grateful – I loved you, I laughed hilariously with you, you inspired me with your truth telling and your fire, you reminded me to watch.

Thank you, I am forever grateful, fly high, my friend.

Maneesha

 

Atithi made some nice contributions to Osho and the resort. One of them was the water-driven marble ball in a hole of a granite block, which is still in place in the resort. It came from Switzerland and was not easy to bring over and to get it through the custom.

He was a real bundle of positive life energy.

Atithi, all the best for your journey further on.

Michael Vedam

Note: The floating and rotating marble ball fountain, an extraordinary feat of laser precision, was first set up in the workers’ Mariam Canteen and has now been placed in the middle of a small pond at the entrance of Zorba restaurant.

 

Oh beloved, your time has come, and many will miss you.

When I got TB in ’93 you showed up with a bunch of Videos at Ruby Hospital. What a Mystery School brother you were!

Thanks for your being.

Sorry I missed you the last two decades.

You are now free……..

Jivan Grant

 

Ah yes… Viramo’s hiking buddy in Sedona. They had great times bonding.

Blessings to you, Atithi. Fly high and dance with Viramo on the other side…

Hugs,

Liberty

 

Beloved, you were one of a kind… I could always feel your love, your heart. You are one of those very rare characters which will be part of my life forever, although we have not seen each other for many years. The little frightened boy of Hungary has come a long way…

I love you, Athiti…

Virag von Richthofen

 

Beloved Atithi,

Feeling you in the heart now, ever present with Osho: original, generous, spontaneous, aware. I’m so grateful for the tears, joy and laughter you and I shared in Osho Academy.

❤️ Swami Shunyo Mahom

 

Atithi, minden jot kivänok nekked, szeretet es puszi.
Atithi, best wishes to you.
Love and kisses,
Passiko

 

Love on your journey onward, intense, humorous beloved Atithi.

Thank you for the sharings, the fun moments and for offering me to stay in your beautiful home close to the lake in Zurich when I was in need of a place.

I will always remember you as a generous, sincere and heartfelt fellow traveler. We both became Sannyasins in 1979. Fly high! 🧡🌟🙏🏼

Mahana Devi

 

Thank you 🧡 beloved Atithi!

In 1989, shortly before I had to leave the commune to return into a very difficult situation, you offered me your front seat for one evening. “Follow me close up, and when we reach my seat, sit down and turn invisible like we did as kids in school,” he said. “And if anybody turns to you and objects, then simply leave silently.”

So we did that. He pointed out where his seat was and left.

And me now sitting in the 4th row trying the invisibility trick! Avirbhava is around, she knows me from the Neo Zen Group. She looks at me, smiles and moves on.

Thank you, Atithi, with all my heart! It was a gift completely out of the blue, with nothing attached to it. Just so, lighthearted, friendly and with humour: that’s how I will always remember you.

Sumukhi

 

Atithi was too young to die, and he never aged. He was always young in spirit with a huge heart.

I met Atithi in Zurich, and we were together for four years. He told me, when I met him, he had friends in Sedona, Arizona where they just had opened up the Academy. We visited them and the rest is history. We also spent time in Poona 2. I was very young, perhaps naïve, back then, but Atithi opened my eyes to an entire new world. Atithi has helped people and me in ways, many will never know. We both have spent lots of time at Kaveesha’s house, helping her, and I remember how often she recognized his big heart and giving nature. Most people have issues with giving, she said. They hold back, they only want to give a little bit or they simply don’t care. Not Atithi, he is very giving and would not ask anything in return.

Atithi was born in Hungary and came as a refugee to Switzerland when he was a child. His mother abounded him in Hungary, but his dad followed the mother to Switzerland. In Switzerland Hungarians, at that time, were welcomed with open arms. He was able to go to university and became a doctor. He was always hard-working, and even as a child, worked in a factory during school vacation. He took sannyas early in his life and was deeply devoted to Osho. I’m not sure if he has ever overcome the hurt in his childhood, but for sure he made the best out of his life and was devoted to meditation.

After we spit up, we have remained best friends for decades. We talked on a weekly basis, often for hours. As I personally have grown spiritually, I pursued meditation and a spiritual path perhaps into a bit a different direction than Atithi, but I can say that you won’t find many people in life who are so giving and generous as Atithi was. He was my best friend, he was my guide, he was my counselor and he was my rock for most of my life.

Whenever someone was in need of help, Atithi was always the first person who would come to the rescue. He was selfless, hard working and very giving. He was also an animal lover and walked dogs in dog shelters. He took care of my dog Lorenzo. I got involved in the horse and donkey rescue. I’m sure that he is very excited, on the other side, seeing that. Many people do not know this, but Atithi was a dog whisperer. He understood dogs like nobody else. His compassion for animals and people was outstanding and extraordinary!

Rest in peace.

Utsava

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