Who Walks into a Bar?

A man walks into a bar….
OUCH!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra…..

The past, the present and the future went into a bar.
It was tense.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like a dry . . . Martini.”
Bartender says, “Coming right up. Why the big pause?”

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman shouts, “Get out! We don’t serve food.”

Two gents at a bar.
One, “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?”
The other, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Bit of string:”Pint of lager please!”
Barman: “You’ve had enough.”
Bit of string tangles himself up and messes up his hair.
Bit of string: “Pint of lager please.”
Barman: “Aren’t you the bit of string that was here a minute ago?”
Bit of string: “No. I’m a frayed knot.”