Turn Friends into Strangers

Healing & Meditation

Kul suggests we try this beautiful meditation.

Have you noticed how strangers become friends? You are stuck at an airport due to a delayed flight and since you are so full of boredom and frustration, you start talking to another passenger. After complaining about the airline or whatever, you are relieved, then you move to other things – what do you do, where do you live, are you married and so on and on.


In a few hours, you are friends with so much in common even if you come from the other end of town – or the world. You exchange mobile numbers and email addresses and keep in touch. Or, it can also happen on the web as you enter a chat room. In real life, you have close friends, friends you have known since childhood. You know all about them: their habits, their mannerisms, and their responses.

Now try this meditation: Turn your friends into strangers. Osho says in Vigyan Bhairav Tantra,

Look at your friend as at a stranger; he is one! Don’t be afraid. We are afraid of strangers, so we go on forgetting that even a friend is a stranger. If you can look at the stranger in your friend also, you will never get frustrated because you cannot expect anything from a stranger.”

You take your friends for granted. Everyone is here to fulfill his/her own expectations – not yours! The wise old folks tell you never to take anybody for granted. Yes, not even your brother or sister, father or mother, wife or husband; leave alone your colleagues and friends. That’s why people have to ‘work’ at their relationships to keep them fresh, vibrant and alive. In these times of non-stop stress and tension, everyone is living for oneself, not to please you. So treat them as strangers and let them go free.

This transformation
of strangers into friends
and friends into strangers
is a fascinating role-play.

How do you do this meditation? The next time you inter-act with your close relative or meet your friend, tell yourself you are meeting him/her for the first time. There is no burden of the past – good or bad. Just play the game of meeting a stranger without letting the other person know about it. He/she should not be able to guess that you are into this new mode. As it gets going, keep watching yourself and the other person and observe the change in the behaviour. Soon, you will slide into witnessing and that’s meditation, at its peak.


You will realise that no matter how close you are, you are a stranger to others. Similarly, others are also strangers, no matter how well they know you. This transformation of strangers into friends and friends into strangers is a fascinating role-play. It may bring out the best in both of you. To boost your relationships, try it!

Article by Kul Bhushan – published previously in Osho World

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