How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. What did you expect you sexist pig!
(or “No-one knows, it has never been done.”)
How many gender equality ombudsmen do you need to change a light bulb?
None. Let the cow wash up in the dark.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
(puzzled expression and slightly dodgy accent)
One. It is a simple enough household task.
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
How many Noo Yawkers does it take to change a light bulb?
None of your goddam business!
How many psychotherapists does it take …..?
Only one but the lightbulb must really want to be changed.
How many members of the Religious Society of Friends does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply form a discussion group called ‘Towards a Quaker understanding of darkness’.
How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, one to change it and five to sing about how good the old one was.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light-bulb?
from The Guardian (comments)