A man goes to buy a motorbike before meeting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. He finds an amazing looking model and asks the dealer what the price is. The dealer replies, “It’s only $1000, but there’s a catch. It’s not waterproof. When it rains, you have to rub vaseline over it or it will rust quickly.” The man accepts this and buys the motorbike.
He picks his girlfriend up that night on his new bike and they head to her parents’ house. As they approach, his girlfriend says to him “Listen, my parents are a bit weird. This might sound funny, but we have a rule that there’s no speaking at the dinner table. If you speak, you have to wash the dishes.”
He’s a bit surprised, but replies that this is no problem, and he’d be glad to do the dishes. She adds “The only problem is, no-one has spoken at the dinner table for about 5 years. There is a MASSIVE pile of dishes in the kitchen.” The man is even more taken aback, but says, “that’s fine, I’ll just keep my mouth shut”.
They pull up outside the house and head inside, sit down and start eating. Minutes pass, and the man starts to grow annoyed at this silly household custom. He wonders how to annoy his girlfriend’s parents, and eventually leans across and starts kissing his girlfriend.
She’s a bit surprised, but responds, and her parents look annoyed but can’t say anything. Encouraged by this, he pulls his girlfriend onto the dinner table and has his way with her. Eventually they finish, he puts her back into her seat, and looks at her parents. They’re looking mighty pissed off but they don’t say a single word.
He thinks, “Well, the mother’s not bad looking…,” pulls her onto the dinner table, and has his way with her too. She doesn’t complain, the daughter is in a state of blissful exhaustion, the father looks extremely pissed, but he is allowed to finish and puts her back into her seat.
Just then it starts to rain. As he hears the drops, he remembers about his motorbike, stands up and takes a tube of vaseline out of his pocket. The father immediately stands up and yells “Okay, okay, I’ll do the fucking dishes, just don’t touch me!”