A visitor says: I don’t know if I’m ready to stop holding back.
Nobody knows. Holding back is just a tendency of the mind, a natural tendency. In fact to say that the mind holds back is not right. This holding back is what the mind is. Once you don’t hold back, the mind disappears. And with the disappearance of the mind is the appearance of your being, of your true being. This holding back simply says that one goes on clinging to the past. Of course there is nothing to cling to because the past has gone. If you open your fist there is nothing to hold, the past is gone. It is just in the memory, it is no more part of reality. But we go on holding it, hoping that maybe it is somewhere and can be reclaimed.
And holding back is also a subtle fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the strange. By and by you will start living a very dead life, because the unknown is what life is, and each moment one has to take the risk again and again of living. Each morning one has to take a risk again. It is very risky, and there is no security. One never knows where one is going, so that the mind holds back. The mind is a safety measure, mm? – a key to the known, to the familiar. Make a definition – don’t go beyond it. Make a boundary. But all boundaries are imprisonments. And then one suffers.
Man is made in such a way that unless the whole sky is his boundary he will be miserable. Less than that won’t do. One needs to expand, and one has to become the expansion. Then there is enthusiasm and there is zest and there is juice, mm? because each moment is a new victory; you expand. Each moment there is a new challenge. You accept and you go on the unknown journey. Each moment God knocks on your door and calls you in such a way that he has never called you; in such a language he has never used before; onto such paths which you have not even dreamed about, and beckons you to come and follow him.
That’s what I call a religious life: to always be ready to go into the unknown, the unchartered, with no maps, with no past experiences. Of course there cannot be any past experiences of it. Such a being grows and such a being has a movement.
And I can see that you have infinite possibilities….
Osho, The Shadow of the Whip, Ch 3