Wedding Rings and Sufferings

Discourses

Beloved Master,
Would you please speak about the three rings of love? – The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering?

Pragyana, you seem to be in the same trouble. I have already described those three rings. Just the first two rings are okay. The real problem is the third ring which comes without fail. If you want to avoid the third ring, avoid the first.

Osho smiling

Little Ernie is looking through the family photo album when he comes across a photo of his parents’ wedding day.
Ernie calls his father over, and pointing to his mother’s wedding dress says, “Was that the day that Mum came to work for us?”

Little Ernie is dragged by his mother into the doctor’s office. She sits down and says, “Doctor, is it possible for a nine-year-old boy to remove his own liver?”
The doctor roars with laughter. “Of course not,” he replies, wiping the tears from his eyes.
Ernie’s mother turns round and cuffs Ernie on the ear, “What did I tell you?” she shouts. “Now go straight home and put it back in again!”

Hymie Goldberg loses a lot of money on the stock market and is in a terrible state. He goes to visit his doctor and says, “Doctor, doctor, my hands won’t stop shaking.”
“Tell me,” says the doctor, “do you drink a lot?”
“I can’t,” says Hymie, “I spill most of it.”
“I see,” says the doctor and then proceeds to give Hymie a thorough examination. When he has finished he says, “Tell me, do you get a tingling in your arms, aches in your knees and sudden dizzy spells?”
“Yes,” replies Hymie, “that’s exactly what I get.”
“That’s funny,” says the doctor, “so do I… I wonder what it is!”
Then the doctor refers to his notes for several minutes before looking up and saying, “Tell me, have you had this before?”
“Yes,” says Hymie, “I have.”
“Well, there you are then,” replies the doctor, pressing the buzzer for the next patient. “You have got it again!”

Things are so clear. You can see all around: rings and wedding rings and sufferings. There is not even an exception to find – there is no question… But because everybody is in the same boat, and everybody grows with the same kind of people, one starts accepting it as the only reality possible for human beings. It is not so.

Man can grow in many different directions, in many different ways. The way he grows is just imitation. Because other people are doing it you go on doing it. Do you hear these bands? These are leading a few idiots towards the same imprisonment I am talking about. You should go and see! The idiots will be sitting on the horses almost looking like kings, not knowing where they are going.

In India this wedding ceremony has a very strange history. There was a time when people used to go to snatch a girl from other tribes – hence the horse! It is a remnant of all those old days when marriage was the beginning of a war. One tribe would invade the other tribe, steal as many young girls as possible…. And even today a sword hangs symbolically by the side of the man who is sitting on the horse going to the girl’s house to get married. And the crowd that follows is a reminder that marriage was once an attack by a crowd on another tribe.

No idiot even asks why the sword, and what is its purpose? There is not going to be any fight; the marriages are prearranged…

But remnants go on for centuries, and if you go into a deep research you will be surprised. The horse, the sword, the crowd, the marriage party… it used to be the army. And the band was a declaration: “We are coming. Be ready.” It is a war symbol.

And those women stolen forcibly, violently, naturally became slaves. Times changed, now anybody can sit on a horse with a sword and go into the street with a bogus crown…! If he is alone people will start throwing stones at him shouting, “Where are you going? Who are you? What is the purpose? Whose horse have you got?” But in a marriage party the same man is respectfully garlanded.

History is a very beautiful study if you go deep into it. The father of the girl touches the feet of the father of the boy. That is symbolic of defeat: “We are defeated” – otherwise there is no reason for it. And there is no reason for all these fireworks; these are the remnants of bombs and shots. It was a violent affair and it was expected that the woman should love and respect the husband so much that if he died, the woman had to jump in the funeral pyre with her dead husband. She also had to burn, alive. By committing suicide she was very much respected. Memorials were raised because she proved to be a true lover. How can she live when her beloved has died…!

I can understand it is possible, but I cannot understand one thing: no man ever jumped into any woman’s funeral pyre, and nobody ever bothered that only the women were expected to love men. In fact while the funeral pyre was still hot and burning, people started thinking about the marriage of the man whose wife had died. Rather than jumping in the funeral pyre, he starts thinking about riding another horse – strange and stupid behavior.

In this century, when we think humanity has become a little civilized, still things go on – and we allow them to go on, although we are also the victims.

Just something for the marriage ceremony….

Wu, the Chinaman has a bad case of constipation. He goes to his doctor who prescribes a course of pills and asks Wu to come back and see him next week.
Wu takes the pills and duly shows up at the doctor’s office the next week.
“Did you move yet?” asked the doctor.
“No move yet.” replies Wu.
So the doctor prescribes a stronger dose.
Wu comes back the following week and the doctor asks, “Did you move yet?”
“No move yet,” replies Wu.
So the doctor gives him a huge dose of pills and a box of suppositories.
Next week Wu comes back and the doctor asks, “Did you move yet?”
“Yes,” replies Wu. “Had to move. House full of shit!”

Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Beloved Master.

Osho, Om Shantih Shantih Shantih, Ch 15, Q 2

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