Osho on ‘Tantra’: “Never make love without meditating, otherwise the love will remain sexual.”
The Buddhist and the Hindu Tantra are totally different things. Just the name is the same. If you are confused about them, that can create a very deep conflict in your body. Forget both, mm? because it will be difficult for you to come to a harmony between these two. I will give you a simple method.
Don’t be bothered about Hindu and Buddhist Tantra.
While making love, three things have to be remembered. One is: before you make love, meditate.
Never make love without meditating, otherwise the love will remain sexual. Before you meet the woman you should rise higher in your consciousness because then the meeting will happen on a higher plane. For at least forty minutes sit looking at the wall with just a very dim light on so that it gives a mysteriousness.
Sit silently and don’t move the body; remain like a statue. Then when you make love, the body will move, so give it another extreme of first being unmoving so the body gathers momentum to move deeply. Then the urge becomes so vibrating that the whole body, every fiber is ready to have a movement. Then only Tantric orgasm is possible. You can have some music on… classical music will do; something that gives a very subtle rhythm to the body.
Make the breathing as slow as possible because when you make love the breathing will go deep and fast. So just go on slowing down, but don’t force it, otherwise it will go fast. Simply suggest that it slows down.
Both meditate together and when you are both feeling meditative, that is the moment to love. Then you will never feel tension and energy will be flowing. If you are not feeling meditative, don’t make love. If meditation is not happening that day, forget all about love.
People do simply the opposite. Almost always couples fight before they make love. They become angry, nag each other and bring all sorts of conflict — and then they make love. They fall very low in their consciousnesses, so of course love cannot be very satisfying. It will be frustrating and you will feel a tension.
The second thing is: when you are making love, before you start, worship the partner and let the partner worship you. So after meditation, worship. Face each other totally naked and worship each other, because Tantra cannot be between man and woman. It can only be between a god and a goddess. It is a gesture, but very significant. The whole attitude has to become sublime so that you disappear. Touch each other’s feet, put garlands of flowers there.
The man becomes transformed into Shiva and the woman is transformed into Shakti. Now your humanity is irrelevant, your form is irrelevant, your name is irrelevant; you are just pure energy.
Worship brings that energy into focus. And don’t pretend. The worship has to be true. It cannot be just a ritual, otherwise you will miss. Tantra is not a ritual. There is much ritual in it, but Tantra is not ritual.
You can repeat the ritual. You can bow down to her feet and touch them; that won’t help. Let it be a deeply meaningful gesture. Really look at her. She is no more your wife, no more your girlfriend, no more woman, no more body, but a configuration of energy. Let her first become divine, then make love to her. Then love will change its quality. It will become divine. That’s the whole methodology of Tantra.
Then in the third step you make love. But let your making love be more like a happening than like a making. The English expression ‘making love’ is ugly. How can you make love? It is not something like doing; it is not an action. It is a state. You can be in it but you cannot make it. You can move in it but you cannot do it. You can be loving but you cannot manipulate it. The whole western mind tries to manipulate everything.
Even if the western mind comes to find God someday, God will be in trouble. They will harness Him in some way or other, manipulate Him. They will put Him to some use, some utilitarian purpose.
Even love has become a sort of doing. No.
When you make love, be possessed. Move slowly, touch each other’s bodies; play with each other’s bodies. The body is like a musical instrument. Don’t be in a hurry. Let things grow. If you move slowly, suddenly both your energies will rise together, as if something has possessed you. It will happen instantly and simultaneously together. Then only Tantra is possible. Move now into love ….
Just feel energy descending on you and let that energy have its movement. Sometimes you will start shrieking, shriek. Sometimes you will start saying things, say. Sometimes only moans will be coming out, or some mudras, gestures; allow them. It is going to be a maddening thing, but one has to allow it. And don’t be afraid, because it is through your allowing that it is happening. The moment you want to stop it, it stops, so you are never beyond control.
And when gods make love it is almost wild. There are no rules, no regulations. One moves just on the spur of the moment. Nothing is taboo… nothing is inhibited. Whatsoever happens in that moment is beautiful and holy; whatsoever, I say, unconditionally. If you bring your mind into it you will destroy it completely. If you suddenly feel like sucking her finger and you say ‘What nonsense!’ then you have brought in the mind. You may feel like sucking her breast; nothing wrong in it.
Nobody knows what is going to happen. You are simply left in the divine vortex. It will take you, and it will take you wherever it wants. You are simply available, ready to move with it. You don’t direct it… you have simply become vehicles. Let energies meet in their own ways. The man should be dropped out of it — just pure energy. You will not be making love only through the genital organs; you will be making love through your whole body.
That’s the meaning of shivalingam: no face, no hands, no feet — just the phallic symbol. When Shiva made love he became just the phallus — the whole of his body. It is very beautiful… no face, nothing.
Everything has disappeared.
It is not that you are using your sexual organs only; the sex has spread all over. You head is as much a part of it as your feet. You have become a phallus. You are no more man; you are just energy. She is also no more a woman; just energy, a vulva. It is a very wild thing.
If you meditate before and then worship each other, there is no danger; everything will move rightly.
You will attain to a peak of orgasm that you have never known. Sometimes you will achieve it: a very great orgasm in which the whole body throbs and pulsates. By and by you reach a climax; again you come down. It will cleanse your whole being, the whole system. Sometimes there will be no ejaculation but orgasm will be there.
There are two types of orgasm: the peak orgasm and the valley orgasm. In the peak orgasm you will have an ejaculation and she will have also an ejaculation of some subtle energies. In the valley orgasm you will not have any ejaculation. It will be a passive orgasm… very silent, very subtle. The throb will be there but almost imperceptible. In the peak orgasm you will feel very very blissful. In the valley orgasm you will feel very very peaceful. And both are needed; both are two aspects of Tantra. Every peak has its valley, and every valley has its peak. A peak cannot exist without the valley nor vice versa.
[Osho said not to be too concerned about having an ejaculation. The western mind tends to be too concerned about it happening and feels that something is wrong when it doesn’t happen. The whole thing is to be totally in it and to leave things in the hands of God; it is His business. Your business is just to enjoy, delight, celebrate.]
And when it has happened and you have both achieved to a deep orgasm, don’t pull yourself out of her. After the orgasm, remain inside her and rest for a few moments. That rest is very very deep.
After an orgasm a rest is like a valley. You have reached to the very peak and now you have come back to the valley. It is very cool and shady and you rest.
And really much happens after the orgasm… the merging, the melting. Bodies are tired, exhausted, spent. The mind is shocked. It has almost been like an electric shock.
When you come out of your love state, again pray together; end with a prayer. The difference is that when you meditate, you meditate separately and she meditates separately, because meditation cannot be done together. Meditation is a lonely effort. It is not a relationship. So you may be meditating together but still you meditate alone; you are alone and she is alone.
Then you worship each other. That’s again different. The other becomes the object of worship.
Then you make love and you are completely lost. You are not yourself, she is not herself. Nobody knows who is who. All is lost in a whirlpool of energy. The polarity of man and woman is no more a polarity; boundaries merge, mingle. Sometimes you will feel like a woman and she will feel like a man. Sometimes she comes on top of you. Sometimes you become passive and she becomes active and the role changes. It is a great drama of energies. All is lost, abandoned. Then you come out of that innermost experience; pray together. That’s the fourth thing.
Just thank God. And never complain. Whatsoever happens is right. Don’t say ‘This has not happened. This should have happened.’ Who are we? He knows better. So just thank Him, whatsoever happens; thank Him with deep gratefulness. Bow down and put your head on the earth and remain there for a few moments in deep gratefulness.
Meditation is alone. In worship, the other is important, and in prayer you both pray to God. So these three things have to be involved. They will create the ecology in which Tantra happens. And once a week will do.
If you are moving in Tantra then no other love should be allowed otherwise it dissipates energy. But whenever you want to make love, make sure you have enough time. It should not be done in a hurry. It should not be like work. It is a game, play, and these energies are so subtle that if you are in a hurry, nothing happens. Tantra is not a fragment. You cannot practice it unless you create the situation. It is like a flower.
You have to sow the seed and take care of the plant and water it every day. You look to whether the sun is reaching it or not. You cannot bring the flower, but you can create the situation in which one day the flower comes and the bud opens.
So these three things are sowing the seed, caring for the plant, watering it and being continuously concerned about it; being careful, protecting it. Then one day suddenly — the flower of Tantra. It will happen.
Osho, Beloved of My Heart, Ch 17
Artwork by Neelamber
From the collection: Osho A-Z – From Absolute to Zero