Humour — 14 September 2017

Kenneth the baker is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.

“An’ wot’s this then?” he asks. The dog knocks the basket sharply into Kenneth’s shins.

“You dumb dog,” exclaims the baker. As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a twenty dollar bill in the basket.

The scribble on the note asks for three loaves of his best sourdough bread. Kenneth figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried-up loaves that have been sitting out all day.

The dog growls at him. Kenneth turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets three fresh loaves from the shelf but one of it is only half-size. He thinks to himself, “It won’t matter.”

Again, the dog growls menacingly. “Alright, alright,” shouts Kenneth after changing the small loaf. He wraps up all three, throws them in the dog’s basket and drops in change from a ten. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another ten goes in the basket.

The baker is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise building, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog’s owner yells at the dog.

“Hey, what are you doing? That’s a really smart dog you’ve got there,” comments Kenneth.

“He’s a stupid dog – that’s the third time this week he’s forgotten his keys!”