Humour — 13 March 2018

A portly middle-aged man boards his plane to fly from New York to Toronto.

On reaching his seat, he is surprised to see a parrot strapped in on the seat next to him.

Once the flight takes off, he asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whisky you cow!”

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets about the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls, “And get me another whisky you dimwit!”

Quite upset, the stewardess comes back with another whisky in her shaking hands but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness on the airline, the man tries the parrot’s approach and sneers: “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick you.”

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

Plunging downwards the parrot turns, looks at him with beady eyes and says, “For someone who can’t fly, you complain too much!”