Pleiades to Earth

Satire / Comedy

Breaking news today that Facebook and related apps had been suffering severe outages. 2.3 billion monthly users are affected.


We hear from the press office of the Galactic Federation that the Pleiades consortium (also known as the dedicated caretakers of the human experiment on Earth) called in all representatives for an immediate conference; all available disembodied enlightened ones were also invited for consultation.

One of the seven sisters beamed telepathically that although the experiment on Earth was ongoing, and the development of humans over millennia was satisfactory and easily managed, suddenly a huge effort by human scientists in implementing wireless communication, networking, Facebook, WhatsaApp, Instagram, robotic engineering, magnetic fields and other related projects has resulted in humans cutting themselves off from the life-support of the natural habitat on Earth and in the solar system.

“This was unprecedented,” one of the other sisters conveyed. “Humans have now quickly adapted to holding a phone in one hand and are seen throughout their days hunched over the little screen, messaging and sending photos to all and sundry and messing up the air waves to an unacceptable extent. Whirls of messages are invading space, going nowhere.They are even storing massive data in clouds.”

The entire assembly nodded thoughtfully.

Buddha, seemingly a bit miffed, got across that scientists in Japan had created a robotic likeness of him, engineered to communicate his heart sutras verbally. He nudged Osho, who was floating nearby, to also make a point.

Osho crossed his legs and conveyed that his entire work while on Earth was to wake people up, even promising his people to merge with them after leaving his body. He declared that many of them have since moved so close to buddahood that just a little push more is needed. But now they were so wrapped up in all the electronic pollution it was getting almost impossible to reach them.

The assembly telepathically sent off some “hear, hear” and quickly came up with a plan to rectify this unbearable situation. “We will immediately shut down some of their apps with the new galactic switch beam they’ve developed on Orion!”

And so they did.

BhagawatiBhagawati is a regular contributor

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