Sarita writes about the breaking up of a relationship and describes a completion ceremony to do this in a beautiful way.
There is a saying from the Greek Mystic Heraclitus, “You can’t step in the same river twice.” This is truly amazing wisdom, which encapsulates the whole life experience in a single phrase.
Life is a series of changes, of death and renewal, of the phoenix rising from the ashes. When we understand this, we do not cling to the past, but rather dive into each moment with full enthusiasm. And when chaos comes, we embrace it and ask, “What can I learn from you?” By embracing times of change and chaos in our lives and learning the lesson contained in this chaos, we naturally find ourselves ascending into a higher level of order.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer. It is entirely human to feel sad when someone dear to us has died or when a relationship ends for whatever reason. Indeed, there are five phases of grieving which pass through us when it is time to let go, whether that be of a relationship, a job, a house, or any of the elements in life we get deeply attached to.
The Five Phases of Grieving
The five phases of grieving are: Denial / Fear / Anger / Sadness and Acceptance. One of the great arts in life is to dive totally into these feelings, express them, and through this find our way into the new that is waiting to unfold. When we live these feelings consciously there is a beauty revealed in the situation that begins unfolding like a flower opening its petals with the rising sun.
The Ending of My Intimate Relationship with Dharmaraj
I recently passed through these five phases of grieving due to the ending of my love relationship with Dharmaraj. As Tantra partners we experienced the phenomenon of rising in love; our life paths intertwined and we experienced profound inner ecstasy and oneness.
Growing and evolving on the Tantra path is an extremely powerful catalyst for transformation and we both evolved in myriad ways, alone and together. Recently, we discovered our souls carrying us in different directions and that to continue as lovers is no longer sustainable. We entered into a process of the five phases of grieving and letting go.
With deepest love and respect, we held a completion ritual, honouring our love and stating to the divine, why we can no longer continue our life path as lovers. We ceremoniously burnt our handfasting ribbons and while bowing down to each other’s feet in complete reverence, we let go.
The very next day, he left for the Osho Resort in Pune to do the Mystic Rose process and I left for a Detox Center in Koh Samui. Both of us took space to be in retreat, as we processed the ending of this amazing journey together as lovers and discovering the path to transition into loving friendship.
Osho says in The Hidden Harmony, Ch 2 :
Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. … Not that you are in love – now you are love.”
The Magic of Gratitude
The honouring statements we read out to each other during our completion ritual and the flow of our ceremony may be of inspiration to others who are facing the splitting up of a relationship.
When we let go in deepest gratitude for the many gifts received during a relationship, we are owning those gifts and these are then integrated within. When we end in gratitude, we call towards ourselves a new and even more positive phase of life. If we end in bitterness, the law of karma will call us back into the same or an even worse situation, and this will be repeated over and over till we learn the lesson. The lesson is delivered in its full grace and benediction, when we are able to feel gratitude.
Preparing for the Separation Ceremony
Before our separation ceremony we spent a couple of days together in intimacy. We enjoyed a final Tantric sacred sexual union. We exchanged sessions, clearing any stagnation around these subjects, did a Tarot reading and received acupuncture from a master healer. We had a romantic dinner together in a really beautiful Japanese restaurant.
The setting for our separation ritual was: a Tachyon Stargate Yantra formation. (Tachyon crystals are extremely powerful source-aligned healing tools. When we place these in a sacred geometry formation, the whole room becomes charged in a way similar to a Buddhafield.) For our ceremony we used ‘white’ aura soma, calling in angels, archangels and ascended masters to witness and bless us in this transition. We were freshly showered and wearing white. We each read out our gratitudes to each other with full presence and love.
Sarita: Gratitude’s for Dharmaraj
You are a gift from heaven, an angel, who appeared in my life.
You moved through every obstacle with determination and strength, never wavering in your devotion and love towards me. Your dedication to love is awesome and I am in reverence at your fortitude and courage.
You have held me in my vulnerability and I could truly let go in your arms. What a blessing this was! I thank you for your steadfast presence, making me feel very secure and held.
You have loved me beyond reason, beyond time and mind, with totality and presence.
I felt like a queen by your side.
You are beautiful and are able to really stand out as a handsome and juicy man. I have been so grateful you have chosen to walk your life path with me for all these years.
I am inspired by your quick mind and your ability to immediately understand complex metaphysical as well as mathematical puzzles.
You are a super travel agent and have given me a great gift by taking care of all my travel reservations with attentiveness and love. I feel your loving presence each time I travel.
You have showered me with love at every turn through your natural inclination of gift giving. I have never received so many material gifts from anyone in my whole life as I have received from you. You have anticipated what I would like and have given this even before I could formulate the thought about it within myself.
Dharmaraj: Gratitude’s for Sarita
I am grateful for the unconditional love showered on me by you, which I had never in my life experienced before.
I am grateful that I have tasted domestic bliss and contentment in the context of a long-term committed relationship. This was a part of the human experience that I always wished to have but which had always eluded me, until now. And it is something I will, of course, seek for the future.
I am grateful for the places we have been together and the adventures we have gone on together, which will forever be some of my favourite memories in life.
I am grateful for introducing me to what deeply fulfilling, connected and ecstatic sexual union really is, experiences that have forever changed me at the cellular and soul level.
I am grateful for your loving quality of touch that has melted the physical traumas of my body and brought it back to balance, harmony and wholeness.
I am grateful for your beautiful eyes that pierce deep into my soul and see the real me, beyond the ego and beyond the flesh, in a way no one has ever seen me before.
Thank you for everything that you have done for me.
Thank you for everything that you are.
Thank you for being.
The Ending Statement
We then read out the statement of why we can no longer continue as lovers and added as an ending (which we read out together simultaneously):
We agree to end our relationship as lovers and Tantra partners from today. When we meet again, we will re-evaluate how we wish to transition into friendship and as a teaching team. We both carry the intention to become loving friends and remain in each-other’s lives in a positive way.
We wish each other blessings to explore each on our own path, in gratitude and with love for one another.
And so it is
And so it is
And so it is
(While bowing down one at a time to touch each other’s feet)
And now I let go.
After this, we burnt our handfasting ribbons ceremoniously. Then we gave each other blessings with Aura Soma quintessence of Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus Kumara.
Transformation and Transmutation
The next day, Dharmaraj left to go and do Osho Mystic Rose, and I left to go to a Detox Fasting Retreat. We both entered into the process of transformation and transmutation.
When there has been so much love shared, it is right and fitting to transition with love, honouring and gratitude. Even if there is pain that comes with separation, the very act of focusing on gratitude transforms this pain into bliss.
As I let go of the old year, I simultaneously let go of what no longer serves my highest good. I embrace the New Year with joy and wonder, not knowing what the future may bring and yet trusting in life’s divine mystery.
This article in its complete form was first published on Sarita’s blog: tantra-essence.com
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