A sannyasin, arriving, says he feels simultaneously very young and very old; and he feels to be alone.
It is something to be understood. You have come across a very fundamental fact of life: the mind is old, always old, and the being is always new, fresh. You are wavering between the two, so simultaneously you will feel very old… the moment you become the mind or you lean towards the mind, you will feel very old.
The mind is very old. Your mind contains the whole past – not only yours: it contains the whole collective past, not only of human beings but of animals, birds and trees and rocks and everything that has ever happened. Your mind contains it; your mind is the whole past of existence. It is really ancient, very stale, dead, a corpse. And the being, your consciousness, is moment to moment fresh: as fresh as dew-drops in the early morning sun, as fresh as the newly-opening rose flower.
This moment comes to meditators when they hover between the mind and the being; one moment when they are leaning towards the being they feel like small children.
Jesus says: Only those who are like small children will be able to enter into my kingdom of god. He is talking about being. Christians have completely missed the point. He is talking about the state of no-mind, he is talking about innocence. He is not really talking about small children, because small children are not innocent. Sometimes they can be very cunning, very clever, very diplomatic, political and everything, and very mean too. Small children are not small really because they have the ancient mind with them. They are not tabula rasa, they are not clean slates; much is already written, they are already old. ‘Small children’ is just a metaphor, a metaphor to show that you have both: you have inside you the oldest mind and the youngest being.
Slowly slowly you have to choose the fresh being against the stale, stagnant mind. Once you become settled in the fresh being this problem will disappear. Then the mind is there; you can use it. It is useful, because it carries all the information. It is a wonderful mechanism; no composer can compete with it yet.
But when you are not it, you are separate, and that separation is liberation. To know ‘I am not the mind’ is to know ‘I am god!’
Osho, You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet, Ch 2