Be a good son, just brother, spouse tender, and good father…

“You will think, ‘What has it to do with spirituality?’ It has much to do with spirituality. You have to create a peaceful surrounding – only then can you fall into meditation. You have to create an atmosphere, an energy field – only then can you go inwards.”

The second part: purification.

This was preparation: respect all the Gods of the world, all the temples, all the sacred places; respect all the scriptures. This is your respect for other human beings. And remember with great love all those who have preceded you on the path and have reached.

This will prepare a climate in you. And this will create a great desire in you, this will become a longing. And you will be gripped by the longing, you will be possessed by the longing. If Buddha has touched your heart, a great longing is bound to arise: How to become a Buddha? If Christ has been felt at the deepest core of your being, then it is bound to happen that you will start working, searching: How to become a Christ? How to attain to Christ-consciousness? Once the desire is there, then purification is possible.

The second part: purification.

Be a good son, just brother, spouse tender, and good father.

You will be surprised by this sutra, but it is of immense value:

Be a good son, just brother, spouse tender, and good father:

You will think, “What has it to do with spirituality?” It has much to do with spirituality. You have to create a peaceful surrounding – only then can you fall into meditation. You have to create an atmosphere, an energy field – only then can you go inwards.

In Gurdjieff’s school in Fontainebleau it was written on the gate: “If you have not settled your accounts with your father, go back.” First settle your accounts with your father, then come. Unless you respect your father, there is no possibility of your growing. Strange! Why? What has it to do with the search?

And from another corner there is psychoanalysis which says: “Settle your accounts with your mother.” Unless that is settled, you will never feel settled. You will remain tense. The whole of psychoanalytic work is how to close accounts between you and your mother – gracefully, lovingly.

Pythagoras seems to be the first to say it exactly, simply: be a good son... What does it mean to be a good son? Does it mean to be a slave, utterly obedient? If you are a slave, you are not a good son. If you are utterly obedient, you are a hypocrite. Then what does it mean to be a good son?

If you ask people they will say, “A good son means: do whatsoever your father says.” It is not that simple – because you can do it from the outside and you can resist it from the inside. That’s what children have to do! They are helpless. Whatsoever the parents say, they have to do it, willingly, unwillingly, reluctantly – they have to do it. That creates a split in them. They become two. They start becoming false, phony.

So one way that is ordinarily thought: just be obedient to the father and you are a good son. That is not the meaning of Pythagoras. Then does he mean rebel against the father? Go against him? Do just the opposite of whatsoever he says? Be a hippie or yippie or something? If he says have short hair then have long hair? If he says, “Take a bath every day,” then forget all about taking a bath for years? If he says, “Cleanliness is next to God,” then be dirty and claim that dirtiness is next to God? No, that is not the meaning of being a good son either.

In fact, the second thing has happened in the world because the first has persisted too long. Too much enforced obedience has created a reaction. Then who is a good son?

A good son is one who is alert, understanding, respectful; who listens to the father because the father knows much – he has lived, he has experienced life, he has more experience. He listens to the father. He tries to understand the father. He is open. He is not in a hurry either to obey or to disobey.

A good son is one who is ready to listen, to understand, to learn. And then, if you feel that you agree with the father, do it. If you feel you don’t agree with the father, then say it. There is no question of reaction. Just make it plain that you don’t agree. You will do it, but it will be done with forced effort. It will make you phony. If the father wants, you will do it, but it will make you phony, it will make you split, schizophrenic. It will divide you.

A good communion is needed between the father and the son, because the father represents the past and the son represents the future. A bridge is needed. And it cannot be one-sided, so it is not only for the son to be a good son: the final thing is to be a good father too. He is creating a family atmosphere in which meditation can grow easily.

A good son is one who is alert, ready to obey the father when he feels he is right, ready to say to the father, “I am not willing to do it – it will be false, it will be phony.” And ready to go with the father if he cannot decide on his own, because there may be things which you cannot feel either right or wrong. Then follow the father; he knows better.

And the father simply represents the past. The father simply represents all father-figures, all those who are older than you. The father is simply a symbol of all those who have lived more than you, experienced more than you – the teachers, the elders. A great respect is needed – respect for their life, respect for their experience.

There is no need to become a slave, and there is no need to react against them. Understanding is needed – neither obedience nor reaction. And if obedience comes out of understanding, it is beautiful. And if sometimes rebellion comes out of understanding, it is beautiful. But it has to come out of understanding, not out of reaction.

There are people who will not do a certain thing because their father says to do it. How can they do it? Just because the father is saying it, they cannot do it – they will do the opposite. Their egos are in conflict. And there are people who know that it is wrong, but they will do it because the father says to do it. Both are wrong.

The good son is one who listens to the father, to all father-figures, tries to understand with great respect, with openness, with no conclusions. And then whatever decision arises in his being, to follow or not to follow, he goes with it. It is neither reaction nor obedience: it is simply acting out of understanding.

Be a just brother… With all those who are of your age, be just, don’t be unfair. Don’t exploit, because if you exploit you create a tension around yourself. Create friendship around yourself, because growth will be easier in a friendly atmosphere.

…Spouse Tender… With your wife, with your husband, be tender, be soft, because love has the other side of hate in it, and unless you understand what it means to be tender, soft, loving, there is every possibility love will bring great hate in you.

People love the same person, and the same person they hate. And that hate destroys all love, poisons all possibilities of love. And love is a great phenomenon. The person who has missed love will never know what prayer is, will never be able to pray. It is only love’s experience that prepares you to pray.

Be spouse tender… love the woman or the man with great tenderness, grace. That has disappeared from the world. People’s relationships have become very ungraceful. They have lost the whole language of tenderness – their love life is so full of hate and anger and rage.

That may be one of the causes why God has become dead in this century. Love has disappeared: prayer cannot arise. Love is the flower, prayer is the fragrance. If the flower is not there, then there cannot be any fragrance.

…And good father. And in your own turn, the circle is complete – be a good father. What does it mean to be a good father? Don’t enforce anything on your child. Give your love, give your understanding, but always make it clear that the choice is the child’s. If he wants to follow it he can follow, but he is following his choice. If he wants not to follow, he is free not to follow – again he is following his choice. Make everything clear to the child. You love him, so give your experience to him but don’t enforce it, don’t command. Let him understand. Let understanding be the only law, and let him follow his understanding.

Now you can understand: the father has to be just a helper. The father has not to mould the child in a certain pattern that he wants; he has not to use the child for his own ambitions. He has to love the child, make him strong, make him more alert, so that he can search out his own ways in life. Make him more and more independent.

The good father does not cripple the child, does not force the child to depend on him. And if there is a good father, naturally the son will be good, because he will not be forced into any slavery and he will not have to react either.

And if you have been a good son, in your own turn one day you will become a father and you will be a good father.

This is the family atmosphere, the space in which we live. This space has to be of intimacy, of love, of grace. Only then will meditation be easier and spiritual growth will be enhanced.

Choose for thy friend, the friend of virtue;
yield to his gentle counsels, profit by his life,
and for a trifling grievance never leave him…

Friendship has also disappeared from the world. What you call friendship has nothing to do with the ancient idea of friendship. Your friendship is just accidental. You work in the same office, so you have become friendly. Or you study in the same college, so you become friendly. This is not real friendship.

Pythagoras says: Choose for thy friend! You cannot choose your father, you cannot choose your mother, you cannot choose your family – but you can choose your friend. You can choose your woman, you can choose your man – that too is an extension of friendship.

Choose for thy friend, the friend of virtue…

…one who has some grace, who has some flowering, who has some quality around him, who has an energy field of virtue. By ‘virtue’ is not meant the righteous, no; not the holier-than-thou, no. By ‘virtue’ is meant one in whose company you suddenly start feeling a tremendous well-being; in whose company, in whose vibe, something starts dancing in you; whose presence helps you to soar high.

Choose a friend, and then ultimately you will be able to choose a Master – because the Master is the ultimate friend. If you cannot choose friends you will not be able to choose the Master either. Choose good friends, and then one day you will be able to choose the ultimate friend.

Yield to his gentle counsels, profit by his life…

And when you choose a friend, listen to his counsels. He will not enforce them – they will be gentle whisperings. He will not be very loud. He will not argue, he will not command – he will only suggest, he will only hint, he will only indicate. And that is the case with the ultimate friend, the Master.

Buddha says: Buddhas only point the way. They don’t make it very loud because they don’t want to be violent. They don’t want to drag you according to themselves; they have no desire to dominate you. They simply express whatsoever they have known and understood – now it is up to you to follow or not to follow.

And learn from his life, be profited by his life – not only his words, but see the way the friend lives. See his actual life and watch it. This is the only way to learn in life. People are scriptures – you have to learn how to read the language. People are great secrets, each person is carrying a great secret; if you know how to listen to it you will be tremendously benefited.

And for a trifling grievance never leave him,
If thou canst at least: for a most rigid law binds power to necessity.

Pythagoras says there are two laws: one is of necessity, the other is of power. The law of necessity applies to people who are unconscious. People who live mechanically, they live out of necessity. There is another law higher than necessity: the law of power. The more conscious you become, the more you go out of necessity, you transcend necessity, you start living out of power, out of abundant power. Then your life is not of necessity.

For example: a person speaks out of necessity because he cannot resist the temptation to speak. Buddhas also speak, but with no necessity: it is out of power, out of abundant power. They are silent; there is no temptation, no obsession to speak. They can remain silent for ever. But still they speak. If they speak, they speak out of power.

You love out of necessity. Buddhas also love – they love out of… so much energy is there that it has to be shared. So much power is happening, it has to be given. You live out of necessity, they live out of power.

Buddhas are the greatest luxury in existence.

These two laws are rooted in one primordial law. They are part of one law, two aspects of one law. In China that law is called Tao, in India that law is called dhamma, in Greece that law is called logos, Jews have called it Torah. It is the same law.

The whole existence is based in one law, but that law has two aspects. One aspect for those who are unconscious – they live like slaves, robots. And another aspect of freedom, of power, of immense joy – that aspect happens only when you are awakened, enlightened. And to have these two laws harmoniously adjusted in your life is the basic message of Pythagoras.

When these two laws are in harmony, you are in harmony. When these two laws are in harmony, then your body follows the law of necessity and your soul follows the law of power. Then your mind follows the law of necessity, and your heart follows the law of power. Then you are a meeting of the sky and the earth, body and soul, the visible and the invisible. And that’s what Buddhahood is, that’s what enlightenment is.

Osho, Philosophia Perennis: Speaking on the Golden Verses of Pythagoras, Vol 1, Ch 1 (part 3 of 3)