Article by Praveen Chandhok in the Garhwal Post, May 20, 2025
We often praise children for being “well-behaved”. They sit still, nod politely, finish their homework, and obey instructions. And yet, Osho, in his disarmingly radical way, turns this praise on its head. “In my opinion,” he writes, “the well-behaved children are not really alive people.” * To many, this may sound like sacrilege. But pause, breathe, and sit with it – and something begins to stir.
Osho is not advocating delinquency. Rather, he is pointing us toward a deeper understanding of authenticity and intelligence. His words compel us to ask whether obedience, when unquestioned and automatic, is a virtue at all – or simply a form of early domestication. After all, what is obedience without awareness? A reflex. And reflexes, however efficient, are not expressions of intelligence.
Imagine a matchstick. It’s true light is hidden within – but to ignite, it must first be struck. The strike is the rebellion, the friction. Without it, the stick remains silent, unseen, unused. Similarly, children (and adults too) often discover their own light not through compliance, but through confrontation. The first “NO” a child utters isn’t always defiance – sometimes, it is the first flicker of becoming.
This disobedience Osho speaks of is not chaos. It is not rejection for the sake of ego or arrogance. It is the nascent voice of one’s inner compass. When a child says, “Why should I do this?” they are not just challenging authority – they are engaging their intelligence. They are no longer passengers. They are learning to take the wheel.
The process of nurturing often takes shape quietly, both within families and educational institutions. These spaces, while foundational, sometimes lean more towards reinforcing structure than encouraging exploration. In such settings, critical thinking – a vital aspect of true learning – can be easily overlooked in favour of established norms. Academic achievement becomes a primary measure of success, occasionally leaving less room for creativity, courage, and independent thought.
Recently, IAS officer Jitin Yadav shared Virat Kohli’s Class 10 marksheet on social media to underline a crucial point: marks alone do not define success. “Had marks been the sole factor,” he wrote, “the entire nation wouldn’t be rallying behind him now.” His message was clear – what truly matters is passion, perseverance, and a sense of purpose. When we allow test scores to become the sole yardstick of potential, we risk ignoring the more meaningful metrics of human brilliance.
Take the case of Thomas Edison. Labelled “addled” by his teacher and dismissed from school for being too slow to learn, young Edison might have been another casualty of a system that prized conformity over curiosity. But his mother refused to accept that verdict. She took him out of school and began educating him at home, nurturing his innate inquisitiveness rather than punishing it. Years later, Edison credited his mother’s unwavering belief as the foundation of his success. His story is not just one of personal triumph, but a testament to what becomes possible when a child’s disobedience is met not with discipline, but with trust.
As Sabeer Bhatia correctly points out, the country is “producing a generation wired to take orders – not to innovate”. India’s schooling system continues to reward rote memorisation over original thinking, creating a workforce that’s ill-equipped for the future. “We’re not teaching kids how to think – we’re teaching them how to follow.”
Bhatia rightly stresses that innovation demands rule-breaking and bold experimentation – traits India systematically suppresses. “Every time someone tries something new here, there’s a chorus of ‘No’. You tell a kid ‘No’ ten times, he won’t ask the 11th. But innovation is born from that 11th question.”
In doing so, we suppress the very originality education should be designed to foster – the spark that dares to ask, create, and transform.
Osho makes a compelling distinction: that one must learn to say “NO” before “YES” can carry any weight. A “yes” that comes from fear, habit, or the need to please – is hollow. But a “yes” that follows deep questioning, reflection, and even the occasional resistance – is a “yes” rooted in clarity. It is the “yes” of a free person, not a programmed one.
To raise truly intelligent, alive individuals, then, is to risk being uncomfortable. To welcome their questions. To allow space for disobedience – not as a threat to authority, but as a crucible for authenticity. A garden grows not by pruning every wayward shoot but by allowing the sunlight and the wind to shape its form.
Osho goes a step further: “Well-cultured people are phony.” * This is a tough pill to swallow. But he isn’t belittling manners or decency – he is questioning the masks we wear in the name of culture. Sometimes, being “cultured” becomes a performance. A child learns to say “thank you” without gratitude, smile without joy, and suppress questions to avoid appearing rude. Politeness becomes a script, not a sentiment.
Authenticity, then, becomes the casualty. And without authenticity, intelligence has no soil to grow in.
Let us be clear – Osho’s message is not to glorify rebellion, but to restore its rightful place as a stepping stone toward individuality. Like a river that must break free from the mountain to find its course, a child (or a seeker of truth at any age) must sometimes challenge, resist, and say “no” before finding their authentic “yes”.
As parents, teachers, and leaders, our role is not to control but to guide. Not to demand obedience, but to nurture awareness. The most alive children – and the most alive adults – are those who were allowed to stumble, to ask, to disagree.
For in that gentle, inner rebellion, intelligence is born.
Quoting Sabeer Bhatia: Until India learns to value critical thinking over compliance, it will continue to squander its intellectual capital. “We have to stop creating a culture where safety, status and obedience are everything. The future belongs to those who dare to do things differently.”
Praveen Chandhok is former President (2021-2023, 2015-2017), SJA Alumni Association, Dehradun
Featured image (detail), chosen by Osho News, credit to JSB Co via unsplash.com
Source
* Osho, Zen: Zest, Zip, Zap and Zing, Ch 2, Q 2
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