Avikal reporting from the Great Doubt, note 13… perhaps the last?

In The Great Doubt, Zen Master Tozan advises that after submission the seeker will be standing on the hundred-foot pole staring down into the abyss, in precarious balance and uncertainty.
Shall I jump, or keep trying my luck, trying to survive?
In 2008 (or was it 2009?) I met a young enlightened Indian woman in the kitchen at Osho Campus in Italy, and we had a chat.
When she heard my name, Avikal, she looked at me with gentle yet penetrating eyes and asked me if I knew its meaning.
I answered that yes, it meant calm, quiet.
She said, yes that’s it, however it is a very particular kind of calmness, as it is the non-doing that comes when one has arrived home.
So that is the meaning of Avikal: one who has arrived home.
And here I am.
I have jumped off the hundred-foot pole without any intention to land anywhere.
The mystery is my road, my love, and this, just this.
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- Follow the whole series: Reporting from the Great Doubt
Featured image: photo by the author

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