Anando remembers the moment she started to slow down and discovered her heart.
In Osho’s library, there is a book open at a page where Osho has written, in big letters, ‘The journey itself is the goal’. I used to pass that book every day, always busy with some object to be achieved. Certainly too busy to take the words in. Then one day, the meaning just hit me. Like a sledge hammer. I realised that I had spent my whole life obsessively active, always aiming for a goal, whether completion of some project, or finding a solution to some problem. My ‘adrenalin’ was to fix things, and people were often just in the way, or unnecessary. I was always looking to the end result, and missing the journey there – missing the moment and all the magical things that happen along the way, not to mention the interactions with others.
I started moving my attention from the result, to the moment. It slowed me down and opened my eyes. I started enjoying people whom I used to think were tiresome. I saw that they had different perspectives from me, valuable perspectives which I had missed in my impatience to arrive at an end. I noticed that they had different qualities from me, which if I allowed myself the space to respect and appreciate the different, made working together an enjoyable and enriching experience. I even began to discover that I also had some of those qualities – that I, too, could see the beauty in things I had previously just rushed past.
I discovered my heart, and that changed my life.
I am not talking about finding romance – I am talking about finding parts of me that I had been missing. Parts that could allow me to be passive rather than always active, parts that could allow me to really enjoy the small things of life, to see that there is beauty everywhere when you look from the right perspective, that there are friends everywhere when you are open and available. To see the truth of what Osho says, that ‘life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived and enjoyed’. In fact, Osho made that statement as part of a response to a question of mine way back in the seventies. I was rushing so fast that it took me more than fifteen years to hear it.