Brains of Britain


A collection of actual phone-in and broadcast quiz responses in Britain.

University Challenge (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

Beg, Borrow or Steal (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester

BBC Norfolk
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What a Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don’t know.
Stewart White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
Stewart White: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

Late Show (BBC Midlands)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France.
Alex Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Alex Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.
Alex Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

The Weakest Link (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: – Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

Beacon Radio (Wolverhampton)
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

University Challenge
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

Richard and Judy
Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain ..

National Lottery (BBC1)
Question: What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific.

Rock FM (Preston)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

The Biggest Game In Town (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?

James O’Brien Show (LBC)
James O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … er. Er … Three?

Chris Searle Show (BBC Radio Bristol)
Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan.
Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er …….. Mexico ?

Paul Wappat (BBC Radio Newcastle)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.

Daryl Denham’s Drivetime (Virgin Radio)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.

Phil Wood Show (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er… …. …
Phil Wood: It’s got two syllables . . . Kor . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

The Vault
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.

Steve Wright in the Afternoon (BBC Radio 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

Credit to Fatima

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